DUI

Charles Barkley was hangin' with a celebrity party posse before he was popped for DUI in Arizona early this morning -- and were told one of the guys in his crew was Jaleel White -- aka Steve Urkel!

Barkley spent Tuesday evening at a Scottsdale nightclub called Dirty/Pretty. Sources at the club tell our pals at TheDirty.com that Barkley, Urkel and former NFL superstar Michael Strahan were boozin' it up at their own private table.

Sources close to the situation also tell TMZ Barkley had some interesting accessories in his car when he was popped at the DUI checkpoint -- wine coolers and bear claw donuts. Seriously.

No word if Barkley had driven drunk to the donut shop -- or if they were stashed away from an earlier munchie run. We'll keep you posted.

Fly the sky

e FBI is looking into a bizarre and frightening incident aboard a commercial jet heading from Houston to Omaha last Friday involving an unstable passenger.

It began with a middle-aged man leaving the plane's lavatory covered in his own feces. "Oh, it was awful. It was worse than that."

Stacey, from Houston, who asked that we not use her last name, says the small commuter jet had just one flight attendant in the cabin, a young man who moved the other passengers forward to empty seats and kept the unkept passenger in the back row.

"I heard all of this ruckus and yelling and I kind of turned around and the poor flight attendant is on his back and the guy is like punching him and I'm like, oh my gosh. It's almost like a scene out of a movie. There were two male passengers behind me that got up and kind of got the guy off of him. The poor steward, he's got a black eye, his eye's swelling. I felt sorry for him."

The injured attendant, with help from the passengers, got the unruly passenger buckled in and calmed down for landing at Eppley Airfield.

The U.S. attorney says the man was not arrested, but detained at the airport by authorities until picked up by trained professionals from a care facility in Iowa.

"Certainly there was a disturbance,” says U.S. Attorney Joe Stecher. “That disturbance was loud. It did get physical. It did get violent. We're glad it came to the conclusion that it did, but I can certainly understand anybody on that plane being upset by what they saw."

Stecher says proving criminal intent may be difficult because of the passenger's mental state. Why he was allowed to fly unsupervised may be a more important result of the FBI investigation.

Airlines are provided lists of people restricted from flying. The passenger's name was not on any of those lists. However, the U.S. attorney will look into what kind of mental treatment the man has been undergoing and whether that should have kept him from flying.

Dane cook

Talk about keeping it in the family -- sources tell TMZ Dane Cook's brother (who was also his business manager) has been arrested for allegedly stealing millions from the comedian.

Darryl McCauley -- who was in charge of Cook's financial affairs since the 90s -- was arrested today by the Massachusetts State Police and charged with three counts of larceny and forgery.

Authorities say in one case, Dane's bro forged a $3 million check and deposited it in his account.

McCauley will be arraigned tomorrow in Woburn District Court.

Bill Murray

Bill Murray Accused Of Drug, Spouse Abuse

Divorce filing says comedian a serial adulterer who abandoned family

MAY 29--Bill Murray is a drug-addicted spousal abuser and serial adulterer who has abandoned his family, according to a scathing divorce filing by his estranged wife. Jennifer Murray alleges that the Academy Award-nominated actor's "adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment" led her in 2006 to move into a separate South Carolina home with the couple's four children. A copy of Jennifer Murray's court complaint, which was first reported by Charleston's The Post & Courier, can be found below. Murray contends that the comedian physically abused her on several occasions during their marriage (they were wed in 1997) and that the star hit her in the face during a November 2007 confrontation in her home. During that incident, the May 12 complaint alleges, the 57-year-old performer "told her she was 'lucky he didn't kill her.'" Jennifer Murray charges that the actor would often leave town without telling her, and sometimes "travels overseas where he engages in public and private altercations and sexual liaisons." She also claims that he "repeatedly...left threatening voice messages on the home telephone which the minor children have heard." In addition to seeking a divorce, Jennifer Murray wants a restraining order issued against the Hollywood star. She also wants a court to determine the legal validity of a premarital agreement signed prior to the couple's July 1997 nuptials. That agreement, a copy of which you'll find here, guarantees Jennifer Murray a lump sum payment of $7 million upon the couple's divorce. (6 pages)

Blue man

FROM TMZ: One of the dudes from the Blue Man Group is probably a little red faced this morning after Chicago cops claim they nailed him for allegedly performing oral sex on another man on a park bench...which gives a whole other meaning to Blue Man.

SAG

SAG Strike Vote Delayed Over Divisions

By TIM MOLLOY
TV GUIDE

· TV Listings · TV Recaps · Video Guide · Photos

TV Guide Photo Galleries
· The Best TV and Movie Characters with Eye Patches
· Red Carpet Recap: Week of December 14
· 2009 Grammy Nominees

The Screen Actors Guild will delay its strike authorization vote by two weeks as the organization's leadership tries to contain growing dissent in the union.

The guild had planned to send out ballots Jan. 2 and to tabulate them by Jan. 23. But it now plans to delay sending out ballots until after an emergency meeting to be held Jan. 12 and 13, SAG national executive director Doug Allen announced late Monday.

Allen said he and SAG president Alan Rosenberg had agreed to delay the vote to "address the unfortunate division and restore consensus."

Rollin Jay Moore

The two stage shows were well done. The rest of the entertainment on board was also good. Rollin' Jay Moore was the headliner comedian and he did a great show. We had seen him last year on the Diamond, but he had new material was very funny. The ship's band Onlyne was very good. They were poolside most afternoons, in the Explorer's Lounge in the evening and played for the deck party one night. We really enjoyed them. Neil Chandler is now the CD on Grand. He did a great job. He wasn't trying to be the center of attention all the time like some CD's do.

pauly shore

Comedian Pauly Shore Beaten by Angry Heckler on Stage Some will do ANYTHING to get extra publicity	By Elena Gorgan, Entertainment News Editor 13th of December 2006, 13:08 GMT Adjust text size:
Yesterday, a video surfaced on the Internet with something very similar to the incident that featured Michael 'Kramer' Richards. Allegedly shot over this past weekend, the roughly-shot footage showed comedian ('Bio-Dome', 'Encino Man', 'Pauly') on stage, delivering his funny speech, when he is interrupted by a female heckler sitting at the bar. The whole thing went down in Odessa, Texas, at the 8th Street Comedy Club. The video shows Pauly, known for his foul language and sometimes more than inexplicable behavior, talking back to the woman in a way that would have pleased no one, not to mention her also present boyfriend. When Shore begins to call the woman a 'bitch', yelling at her to 'shut the f**k up!', her boyfriend gets up from his seat and walks on the stage. We can all see the comedian trying to back out of a potentially dangerous situation, urging the angry man to calm down but to no avail. Maybe he should have stopped hurling insults at him. Anyway, the angry cowboy gets up on the stage and, after a brief exchange of nasty words, punches Shore with such force that he falls flat on his back.  A security man then appears and takes the heckler outside. Afterwards, Pauly gets up and, mike in hand, leaves the stage calling all the members of the audience 'white trash'. At first, the world was shocked to see such an uncalled for display of violence, especially so soon after the Richards incident. But, late last night, TMZ talked to an Odessa police officer and it turns out that the whole 'incident' was nothing else than a skit, carefully orchestrated by the comedian and the alleged assailant. The police statement said that no one was hurt during the 'altercation' and that it was planned as a way to poke fun at the whole heckler-phenomenon. Nobody thought it would be taken and blown out of proportion to such a scale, he added. There's only one thing left to be said at this point: can you imagine how far some Z-list celebrities are willing to go just to see their names in the papers? In this case, touch� for Pauly Shore! CLICK HERE to see how it all went down.

hoax

NEW YORK (AP) - It's the latest story that touched, and betrayed, the world.

"Herman Rosenblat and his wife are the most gentle, loving, beautiful people," literary agent Andrea Hurst said Sunday, anguishing over why she, and so many others, were taken by Rosenblat's story of love born on opposite sides of a barbed-wire fence at a concentration camp.

"I question why I never questioned it. I believed it; it was an incredible, hope-filled story."

On Saturday, Berkley Books canceled Rosenblat's memoir, "Angel at the Fence." Rosenblat acknowledged that he and his wife did not meet, as they had said for years, at a sub-camp of Buchenwald, where she allegedly sneaked him apples and bread. The book was supposed to come out in February.

Rosenblat, 79, has been married to the former Roma Radzicky for 50 years, since meeting her on a blind date in New York. In a statement issued Saturday through his agent, he described himself as an advocate of love and tolerance who falsified his past to better spread his message.

"I wanted to bring happiness to people," said Rosenblat, who now lives in the Miami area. "I brought hope to a lot of people. My motivation was to make good in this world."

Rosenblat's believers included not only his agent and his publisher, but Oprah Winfrey, film producers, journalists, family members and strangers who ignored, or didn't know about, the warnings from scholars that his story didn't make sense.

Other Holocaust memoirists have devised greater fantasies. Misha Defonseca, author of "Misha: A Memoire of the Holocaust Years," pretended she was a Jewish girl who lived with wolves during the war, when she was actually a non-Jew who lived, without wolves, in Belgium.

Kirk Fox

KF was on Leno a few weeks ago and he killed. I think every comedian can learn from his style. He looks like he commands the room when he takes a moment to look at the audience. This is usually done in the intro. When I saw him at the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa he ate up a good minute by just standing on stage nodding his head. By taking it super slow he eats up time and makes the audience comfortable. This guy is on his way to the show.

Booking

Now Booking Comedians for 2009

Santa Barbara, CA

New club opening for Saturday Night performances in Santa Barbara in 2009. Seeking talented performers for booking starting in mid-January. No

1 day ago from Talent6 - Get Qu

MERRY XMAS

MERRY XMAS COMEDIANS OF THE WORLD!

Ron Pearson

As a comedian Ron has made numerous late night appearances from The Late Late Show, to The Dennis Miller Show, and even Comedy Central. He also found time to do years of hosting television shows on The Family Channel and The Discovery Channel. Not bad for a kid who started his career as a child street performer. Ron has developed his brand of humor into a performance that captivates the tops of the Fortune 500 companies and garnered him a nomination for Comedian of the Year.  It’s a good thing he knows how to juggle, not only does he have all these talents, he has to keep his family of four afloat in Los Angeles. He has been married to his wife, Tanya, for eight years, which is almost a showbiz record. He also has two children, Reagan and Tex who actually need more attention than Ron does.

Jim Jefferies

Australian born Jim Jeffries is a headline performer in countries such as Canada, Asia, South Africa,
Europe and the UK. Regarded as one of the fastest rising stars in the comedy world, his brash confrontational style has made him one of the most sought after comics on the world stage. Jim gets away with jokes that most comedians wouldn’t touch due to his ability to both charm and offend the crowd through equal measures.

In 2005 Jim wowed audiences at The Montreal ’Just for Laughs’Festival where he was performing in the highly acclaimed ’Nasty Show’. Jim garnered one of the biggest press articles at the festival and was also moved above 2 of America’s cult comics as neither could follow his storming performances. In 2007 he was asked back to the festival this time to do a solo week, which sold out ever night.

In 2006 Jim made his return to the Edinburgh Festival with his solo show titled ..The Second Coming.. which not only received seven 4 star reviews and numerous other press articles about his show, it sold out the whole run and he also managed to wind up Christian Voice as well. Hoorah!

In 2007 Jims Edinburgh festival show 30 was one off the hottest shows off the festival now earning him
three 5 stars reviews and eleven 4 stars. the success of this show took jim touring in america were he even supported Dennis Leary!
Its not all about filth with Jim though, he is also in constant demand for numerous TV shows and you can catch Jim on ..Comedy Cuts.. ITV2 ..Heaven & Earth.. BBC1, If.ComEddies ..ITV2, ’Never Mind the Buzzcocks’ BBC2 , ’The History of Offensive Humour’ Channel 4 ..Comedy Blue.. Paramount, and even performing a clean set on ’The World Stands Up’ and ..Edinburgh and Beyond.. for the Paramount Comedy Channel.

Greg Giraldo

Greg Giraldo made a bad decision and the ECU community is not happy about it.
The comedian, who has appeared on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Last Call with Carson Daly, Late Show with David Letterman and Late Night with Conan O'Brien ventured to ECU for the Comedy Central Indecision 2008 tour on Aug. 18. The show served as a kick off to the ECU Weeks of Welcome, and was free to students and friends at Minges Coliseum.
However, some students and staff deemed the show, most notably Giraldo himself, offensive and vulgar. According to student accounts, Giraldo based his routine on making fun of the hearing impaired, along with asking the audience which animal he or she would like to have sex with. 
"Greg Giraldo, in my opinion, was incredibly vulgar and offensive," said Joy Fitzpatrick, who attended the show. 
Fitzpatrick added that Giraldo intentionally allowed his comedy act to make fun of those who required interpreters, using them as backup material through the entire show.
"I anticipate my opposing argument to say that college students are adult enough to think for themselves, and although they are, I am more concerned that this particular event was endorsed by such a great institution," Fitzpatrick said.
Kay Christian, the interim director of Student Activities and Involvement, says that the administration understands the concerns of offended students and apologizes for the incident.
"Every year our department brings a comedy act for students to enjoy during the Weeks of Welcome and anytime you have that, you can't necessarily control the comedian's material or what they say and do," said Christian. "We strive to provide a wide variety of entertainment to students, but sometimes there will be moments when some enjoy the show and others are offended."
"In the future, we will work hard to be sure we set our expectations with our entertainment acts beforehand. Without stifling free speech, we need to make sure they have appropriate material for the audience."
However, while some attendants of the events found the routine too vulgar, others enjoyed the show, including student Jason Wallace.
"I think that Mr. Giraldo did what a professional comic should do," said Wallace. "Any comedian can tell a series of jokes, but he has the skill and confidence to break the fourth wall and interact with the audience."
Wallace adds that although Giraldo might have offended those who attended, anyone who felt uncomfortable with the material of a show can always leave.
"If one chooses to stay, then one chooses to be a part of the entertainment, even when the entertainment might be them," he said.

This writer can be contacted at features@theeastcarolinian.com

Beetlejuice

"Beetlejuice" Actor's House Burns

Posted Dec 23rd 2008 4:05AM by TMZ Staff

Glenn Shadix -- who played "Otho" the decorator in "Beetlejuice" -- watched a fire tear through his Alabama home, if you couldn't tell by the devastated look on his face.


Glenn left his house (intact) on December 13, and when he returned at around 11:00 AM, it was engulfed in flames, according to the Western Tribune.

Glenn bought the home -- built in 1886 -- a year ago when he moved back to Bessemer, Alabama, his hometown. The Trib reports Shadix repeatedly told firefighters, "I've lost my dream."

The cause of the fire is still under investigation.

Pat Buckles

Terrible comedian that annoys Jerry. Leeches on to him and goes to see Rochelle Rochelle with him at the movies. Wants Jerry to keep his wintercoat for him because he is running out of closet space. Doesn't like fish.

Jay Moore

COMING SOON TO A STAGE NEAR YOU?

NOV 13TH UNTIL NOV 21ST = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

NOV 27TH UNTIL DEC 4TH = CROWN PRINCESS

DEC 14TH UNTIL DEC 19TH = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

DEC 26TH UNTIL 28TH = COMEDY CABANA, MYRTLE BEACH SC

JAN 4TH UNTIL JAN 8TH = CROWN PRINCESS

JAN 14TH UNTIL JAN 22ND = CROWN PRINCESS

JAN 28TH UNTIL FEB 1ST = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

FEB 5TH UNTIL FEB 11TH = CROWN PRINCESS

FEB 19TH UNTIL FEB 25TH = CROWN PRINCESS

MAR 5TH UNTIL MAR 11TH CROWN PRINCESS

MAR 19TH UNTIL MAR 25TH = CROWN PRINCESS

APRIL 2ND UNTIL APRIL 8TH = CROWN PRINCESS

APRIL 16TH UNTIL APRIL 22ND = CROWN PRINCESS

APRIL 29TH UNTIL MAY 3RD = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

YOUR PARTY!

John Caparulp

John Caparulo (born September 22, 1975 in East Liverpool, Ohio) graduated from Kent State University. He then started his stand-up career in the night clubs of Cleveland andPittsburgh in 1997. He spent several years working as a doorman at the Comedy Store in Hollywood and as a groundskeeper at a local golf course.

It wasn't until 2003 that he got his first break at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal, where he was offered a sitcom deal due to his sharp wit, unique delivery, and a passion for using curse words. He applied his blue collar work ethic to the stage, which he now enjoys doing full-time. He has appeared three times on The Tonight Show, a half-hour special on Comedy Central, was featured on Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Next Generation, and is one of the comedians on the Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Tour. He also hosts Mobile Home Disaster on CMT. Official site and reference: http://www.johncaparulo.com/

Eric Douglas

Eric Douglas, the youngest son of Kirk Douglas and half-brother to Michael Douglas, was found dead in his New York City apartment on Tuesday. An autopsy is planned to determine the cause of death. 

The body of the 46-year-old sometime actor and, more recently, aspiring stand-up comic, who often had brushes with the law, was discovered by a housekeeper who had come to clean the Manhattan apartment where he was staying, police tell Reuters. 

Authorities said there were no signs of foul play. The once-lithe Douglas, who sported Dad's jutting chin but was said to have ballooned to 300 lbs., was found lying on the floor next to a sofa in the living room of the one-bedroom apartment on East 29th Street, police said. 

The Douglas family was "very shocked and saddened" after learning of Eric's death, said Allen Burry, a family spokesman. "We hope you will respect their privacy at this time." Kirk Douglas, 87, is reportedly coming from California to New York for the funeral. 

Though he struggled to have an acting career (which was often stymied by his use of drugs and alcohol), Eric Douglas – the youngest of Kirk's four sons, with his second (and since 1954, current wife) Anne Buydens – received more attention for his run-ins with the law than for his work

Lisa Lampanelli

Lampanelli began her stand-up career in New York in the early 1990s.^[7] She made her break at the 2002 New York Friars' Club roast of Chevy Chase, and went on to participate in the roasts of Denis Leary, Pamela Anderson, Jeff Foxworthy, Flavor Flav, and William Shatner. Lampanelli released a comedy special on DVD entitled Take it Like A Man in 2005, appeared in the 2006 motion picture Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, and had a cameo appearance in the VH1 sitcomSo NoTORIous. She also landed a deal with Fox for a sitcom pilot with the tentative title Big Loud Lisa, which was considered a candidate for the network's 2006-07 television season.

Lampanelli is frequently on the dais for The Howard Stern Show roasts, including appearances at the roasts for Gary Dell'Abate, Artie Lange, Andy Dick, and KKK member Daniel Carver, Comedy Central'sRoasts of Denis Leary, Baywatch star Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav, and most recently A&E's "Gene Simmons Roast" in April of 2008.

Lampanelli taped her stand-up special Dirty Girl in the fall of 2006, which aired on Comedy Central on January 28, 2007. Her Dirty Girl CD and Dirty Girl .. No Protection DVD were released by Warner Bros./Jack Records on January 30, 2007.

She was also featured in the movie Delta Farce starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and D.J. Qualls, which was released early in 2007, and in Drillbit Taylor starring Owen Wilson.

Racial / ethnic humor is a large part of her comedy routine. In particular, she makes frequent references to her real-life relationships with black men.^[8] In an interview with AskMen.com, she explained:^[9]

"...my problem is, I can't get a good-looking white guy anymore, I just don't have the looks to get that. I can get hot blacks, but also blacks are now starting to get uppity and go for the skinny white ones and the Asians, which is very offensive to me that they don't stick with their roots — the chubby white girl!"

On November 21,2008, in Santa Rosa, CA, Lisa Lampanelli taped her first one-hour HBO Special at The Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. The special is due to be aired in early 2009.

Charlie Hill

Charlie Hill is a renowned stand-up comedian who has appeared on Letterman and Leno. Charlie was a staff writer for the Roseanne show and was featured on Moeshe. Charlie is the inspiration and talented leader of Club Red and the Club Red Players.

Mike Farrell

Mike Farrell is a traditional Yorkshire stand up comedian who can work to either all male or mixed audiences. No props, no gimmicks, just strong material and the professionalism to put it across. He is amongst the best comedians on the current after dinner circuit.

Mike is suited for sporting dinners where he has appeared over the years with many familiar faces, such as: Jimmy Greaves, Jack Charlton, Denis Law, Tommy Docherty, Freddie Trueman, Geoffrey Boycott, Barry McGuigan to name but a few

Mike's style and adaptability makes him suitable for Rotary and Round Table dinners where he can tailor his material to suit the audience.

He is very popular for golf day dinners for golf clubs and also corporate golf day dinners where many Organisations /Companies invite him back the following year.

sag

LOS ANGELES – A dozen film industry workers protested outside atown hall meeting of the Screen Actors Guild on Wednesday night, pleading with actors not to authorize a strike that would bring the entertainment business to a halt.

The workers held up signs saying "Please No Strike Now — The Crew" in the rain outside the complex housing the Kodak Theatre, home of the Academy Awards.

SAG is preparing to send out strike authorization ballots Jan. 2, which could imperil the gala awards night on Feb. 22 if actors boycott.

The group of protesters, location scouts, technicians and camera-equipment vendors said work has dried up since the actors' contract expired in June because studios have delayed making new movies for fear of a damaging walkout.

"Since the last contract expired in June, it's basically killed the feature film business," said Rob Frank, a 48-year-old location manager from Los Angeles. "People are losing their homes. I just think the timing is off for a strike."

Since wrapping location shooting on Disney's "Bedtime Stories" in August, Frank said he has been out of a job. "I'm usually going from movie to movie to movie with no break in between," he said.

The demonstration was the latest sign of unhappiness with the guild. On Monday, some SAG members at a meeting in New York chastised President Alan Rosenberg and asked him to resign.

"Being in New York, it was very discouraging," said Anne-Marie Johnson, an actress and spokeswoman for the Membership First faction of the guild that supports Rosenberg.

The New York group of SAG board members issued a letter Friday calling a strike vote irresponsible and demanding the negotiating committee be replaced.

More than 130 A-list actors including Cameron Diaz and Pierce Brosnan also came out against a strike in a letter made public this week.

In contrast, Wednesday night's meeting in Hollywood was "the exact opposite of the New York meeting," Rosenberg said afterward. Among the some 500 actors in attendance, he said, "we had overwhelming support in there."

He said he remained confident that the guild would win the required 75 percent approval for strike authorization.

"Right now, we're talking about putting that tool in our hands to get a deal," he said. "We've never not gotten one before."

According to several people in attendance, more than half of the several dozen speakers supported giving the board the authorization to call a strike, though several were fearful about losing work in a weakened economy.

Actor Ed Asner, 79, said a strike was necessary to achieve the guild's goals and that the length of a possible walkout depends on the Hollywood studios. "It all depends on how greedy they are for product."

Comedian Rob Schneider denounced fellow high-profile actors such as George Clooney, who have repeatedly called for the guild to agree to a deal without a strike.

"It's a shame these high-profile actors are undermining their own union," Schneider said after the meeting.

The guild is seeking union coverage for all Internet-only productions regardless of budget, residual payments for Internet productions replayed in ad-supported platforms online, and continued actor benefits during work stoppages, including those caused by strikes by other unions.

The studios have said a formula for payment in new media formats has already been agreed upon by directors, another actors union and writers, whose 100-day strike derailed the Golden Globe Awards in January.

It is urging SAG's 120,000 members to agree to the same deal.

Elliott Gould, a 70-year-old actor who played one of the plotters in the "Ocean's" movie series, said he confronted the group of anti-strikers outside.

"I said, 'Look, we respect you as much we respect ourselves," Gould said. "'But don't threaten me.'"

The strike vote must be approved by 75 percent of voting members to succeed. If it is approved, the SAG national board can call a strike. Votes will be counted on Jan. 23.

yummy

Related Quotes

Symbol	Price	Change
BKC	20.53	+0.15
MCD	61.29	-1.34

Burger King Corp. may have just the thing. The home of the Whopper has launched a new men's body spray called "Flame." The company describes the spray as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

The fragrance is on sale at New York City retailer Ricky's NYC in stores and online for a limited time for $3.99.

Burger King is marketing the product through a Web site featuring a photo of its King character reclining fireside and naked but for an animal fur strategically placed to not offend.

The marketing ploy is the latest in a string of viral ad campaigns by the company. Burger King is also in the midst of its Whopper Virgins campaign that features an taste test with fast-food "virgins" pitting the Whopper against McDonald's Corp.'s Big Mac.

Burger King Holdings Inc. shares rose 15 cents to close at $20.53.

Earthquake

Earthquake (born Nathaniel Martin Stroman on May 29, 1963 in Washington, D.C.) is an American stand-up comedian and actor. He performed a half-hour HBO special as part of the series One Night Stand, which first aired on August 26, 2005. He also had a small role in Kevin Smith's film Clerks II, released in July 2006. He has a recurring role as Chris' Uncle Mike, on Everybody Hates Chris.

[edit]Military career

Earthquake was in the U.S Air Force for eleven years. He refused to be a combatant in the Gulf War and was honorably discharged as a conscientious objector. He had attained the rank of Sergeant but was demoted to Airman First Class before his discharge.^[1]

Earthquake revealed on The Howard Stern Show that while he was in the U.S. Air Force, he once dropped a live nuclear missile when he was loading it into an aircraft. According to Earthquake, the incident caused much panic and was classified as a Broken Arrow, a situation that alerts a large portion of the military, including the President of the United States. He claimed he was rushing to attend a 2 Live Crew concert.^[2]

[edit]References

not what you want to hear

A British passenger plane was forced to turn back minutes before landing in Paris because the pilot of 30 years' experience was not qualified to land in fog, an airline confirmed on Thursday. Speaking over the address system as the Flybe flight approached Charles de Gaulle airport, the pilot announced to startled passengers "I am not qualified to land the plane" and turned back to Cardiff. A spokeswoman for the low-cost airline said the pilot was "an experienced aviator with more than 30 years commercial aviation experience flying a number of different passenger aircraft types." "He has relatively recently transferred his 'type-rating' from a Bombardier Q300 to a Bombardier Q400 and has not yet completed the requisite low-visibility training to complete a landing in conditions such as the dense fog experienced in Paris Charles de Gaulle," she said. "The captain therefore quite correctly turned the aircraft around and returned to Cardiff; a decision which the company stands by 100 percent." One passenger, 29-year-old Cassandra Grant, said she had missed a job interview in the French capital as a result. She told the South Wales Echo newspaper: "Twenty minutes outside Paris, the captain said, 'Unfortunately I'm not qualified to land the plane in Paris. They are asking for a level two qualification and I only have a level five. We'll have to fly back. "The whole thing beggars belief. If I had not been on the plane, I would not have believed it." The Civil Aviation Authority described the incident as "quite unusual but probably not unheard of. "I guess he thought when he initially took off that conditions would be suitable for him to land," a spokesman said. "There are different classifications of aircraft and when an aircraft is updated, pilots who have flown an older version have to completely retrain. "Different climatic conditions like fog require a certain level of skill and he probably didn't have the level of training required for this particular aircraft."

Jay Leno

Jay Leno’s lies, Jay Leno’s damn lies, and statistics

Posted on 16 December 2008 by Robert Seidman

Jay Leno says people are going to bed earlier these days. Jay Leno says 10pm is the new 11:30.

Jay Leno is full of crap.

I’m not really irked by it. Complete crap taken as fact by mainstream media? Oh please, I’m way too beaten down by years of that to get worked up about it, but since one of our readers beat me over the head with some data, I figured I might as well debunk Mr. Leno.

I seriously doubt Jay Leno intended to be deceitful even if it was good PR for being on at 10pm. I’m sure Mr. Leno believes what he said is true. But it isn’t. Leno is wrong when he says that people are going to bed earlier and that 10pm is the new 11:30pm, at least according to the Nielsen data.

Of course it is absolutely true that more people are watching TV at 10pm than 11:30pm. But that’s not anything new. People actually do go to sleep. But are they going to sleep earlier?

The Nielsen data when it comes to television viewing doesn’t indicate that people are going to bed earlier. In fact, it indicates that people are generally going to bed at the same time they always did, and if anything are staying up a little bit later now!

What it does show is a decreasing trend of viewership between 10pm-11pm (not great news for Leno’s new timeslot), and increasing viewership between 11:30pm-12:30am. That holds true both as a one year trend and a five year trend.

According to Nielsen data, 6% fewer 18-49 year olds are watching TV between 10pm-11pm than were watching 5 years ago. 4% fewer 18-34 year olds are watching between 10pm-11pm than five years ago. If you want a broader view, looking at 25-54 year olds, viewing between 10pm-11pm is down 7% over the last five years.

Meanwhile, the trend is UP for viewing between 11:30pm-12:30am over the last five years among 18-49 year olds (1% increase) and 18-34 year olds (5% increase) and is completely flat among the broader 25-54 demographic.

The actual data simply does not back Mr. Leno up.

All data above is based on LIVE viewing only, but since the discussion was about whether people were going to bed earlier, bringing DVR viewing habits into the mix didn’t make much sense.

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Monday Dec.

15th
8:30
(MC) Jay Cramer (15)
8:45 Mark White (10)
8:56 Tricia Shore (8)
9:04 Jillian Bennett (8)
9:13 Mel Khol (10)
9:25 Kevin Rudy (8)
9:35 John Mader ***NEW MC*** (10)
9:47 Rebekah Kochan (12)
9:59 Dante (20)
10:19 Risky Betts (12)
10:32 Shannon McDonald (10)
10:42 Johnnie walker (12)
10:54 Ken Pringle (12)
11:06 Nick Hoff (8)
11:15 Mike Muratore (15)
11:30 Jason Hadley (12)

Tuesday Dec.

16th
8:30
(MC) Kamaka Brown (15)
8:45 Tricia Shore (8)
8:53 Susan Brennan (8)
9:01 Mel Khol (8)
9:09 Jillian Bennett (8)
9:17 Jay Cramer (15)
9:32 Felicia Michaels (15)
9:47 Risky Betts (12)
10:00 Jason Hadley (12)
10:15 Willie Bingo (12)
10:28 Ken Pringle (12)
10:40 Les Kurkendaal (8)
10:49 John Mader (10)
11:00 Mark White (8)
11:08 Kevin Rudy (8)

Dobie Maxwell

Luck. Fate. Fortune. Kismet. Destiny. That which happens to a person. Everyone has some kind of luck. There's good luck, bad luck, beginner's luck, dumb luck, and there is Dobie Maxwell in a class all by himself. Things just happen to Dobie. All kinds of "things". If a baseball goes over the stadium and a car window breaks, nobody has to ask "Who owns that car?" If a single hotel room is robbed in a large hotel, guess whose room it was? If it rains only one week a year in San Diego, guess who is booked there that week? Dobie Maxwell truly is "Mr. Lucky" -- and it is HILARIOUS.

Unbelievable "things" have happened to Dobie since his birth in Milwaukee, WI -- the home of Harley Davidson motorcycles. "What good has ever come out of Milwaukee?" he asks. "Its cold, full of beer swillers and there hasn't been a Miss America from there. I was at a disadvantage from the start." And it doesn't stop there. Dobie's father rode with a motorcycle gang and his mother left the family when he was five months old. He was raised by his paternal grandparents. His grandfather nicknamed him "Mr. Lucky".

Nobody has the timing of Dobie Maxwell. He always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's very funny...if you're not him. He sums it up best: "When I was nine I went to see the Harlem Globetrotters. They lost." One situation after another make for big laughs. 

Never at a loss for words, Dobie Maxwell packs a wallop in his comedy show. He speaks in gusts, prowls the stage, and combines emotions and opinions to his amazing stories. Many fans come to see him over and over again because with many experiences he never does exactly the same show twice.

Dobie Maxwell, a.k.a. "Mr. Lucky" has been touring North America as a professional standup comedian since 1985. During that time, he has appeared in all 48 lower continental United States and all across Canada in comedy clubs, colleges and concert halls. He has also done many other things of interest and had he been able to focus on one thing for all these years he wouldn't be "almost" famous. His sidetracking is the source for some great stories.

He has performed with Drew Carey, SNL's Dana Carvey, Jeff Foxworthy, Rosie O'Donnell, Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno and many others. He has developed over the years into a strong and seasoned live performer who now headlines his own shows. His energy on stage and ability to vanquish hecklers are legendary. He has long been a "comic's comic", but he has finally realized that it's CUSTOMERS that pay cash for tickets, not other comics.

He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, Entertainment Tonight and even hosted his own show for two years in his hometown of Milwaukee. He has spent time as a morning radio host, co-host and regular guest on stations in Chicago, Reno, Milwaukee, Lansing, Tucson, Salt Lake City and been a featured guest on radio stations and in printed publications worldwide.

Dobie currently teaches comedy classes at Zanies Comedy Clubs in Chicago and has a six cassette audio course with a 56 page book called "Be Funny Make Money". He has taught the live classes and one day comedy seminars nationwide, from Laffs Comedy Club in Tucson to Uncle Funny's Comedy Club in Miami.

He has also taught one day seminars at Marquette University and several corporate sales meetings across North America. He has also taught at and been asked to return to the prestigious Round Table Convention in Hollywood in which comedy writers from all over North America gather to learn all facets of the comedy business. That convention was started by Gene Perret, who was Bob Hope's head writer for many years and a writer and producer for The Carol Burnett Show and many other successful projects.

Jimmy Shubert

Birth Name

James Francis Shubert 

Trivia

As a stand-up comic, he served as an opening act for comic legend Sam Kinison.

He attended the Philadelphia High School for Creative and Performing Arts, majoring in Drama.

By the age of 15, he had become an accomplished professional magician.

The Go audition couldn't have come at a more deflating time. He read for Liman the same week he had attended the funeral of his 12-year-old cousin in Philadelphia. While in Philly, he also learned that the proposed sitcom Postal, in which he was to play a Long Island postal worker, wasn't being picked up for the 1998 pilot season. With a certain fatalism hanging over his life and career, Jimmy read for Go by relying more on a devil-be-dammed instinct than any acting technique.

Larry Reeb

Larry Reeb is a veteran, Chicago-based comedian whose more familiar moniker is “Uncle Lar,” which he not only calls himself onstage, but that’s also what comic colleagues and longtime fans call him--and for everyone who says it, the nickname is a term of endearment with tongue placed firmly in cheek. A slice of irony on wry. Indeed, this “Uncle” is far from avuncular in manner. You probably wouldn’t want him chatting with your 5-year-old nephew or niece--his material tends to be a little too racy and blue for that. For example, some of the tracks included on his CD, “Sick World Happy Guy,” are “Trojan Tester,” “Watching Porno and Drinking Beer,” “Michael Jackson Knocks Up Monkey,” “Slick Willie’s Whorehouse and Cigar Bar”--well, you get the idea. That said, we certainly strongly recommend you bring your 25-year-old nephew or niece--and every other adult you know--to Cap City to see Reeb in action, because he is nothing short of hilarious, with his ‘tude-laden, often sarcastic delivery of edgy observations, vaguely blue scenarios and non-stop string of “tips from your Uncle Lar.” Sure, Reeb isn’t a household comedy name--let’s put it this way: his style of stand-up doesn’t exactly lend itself to his being a regular guest on “The Tonight Show”--but this guy is so good, so accomplished and so damn funny that we are absolutely thrilled that he’s gracing the Cap City stage, and you should definitely catch him. Reeb is a pro’s pro, a comic’s comic. And if you don’t want to take our word for it, check out what publications in his own town have said--and keep in mind that Chicago has long been one of the country’s top comedy cities, and that critics there are notoriously discriminating: Chicago Magazine wrote “Larry Reeb’s pungent wit and exceptional delivery makes him one of the top comedians in Chicago,” while the Chicago Defender raved “Uncle Lar stood on Zanies stage, opened his mouth and astonished the audience with his brilliance. His timing is sensationally sharp...his speech provoked an audience’s almost uncontrollable laughter.”

BOB ZMUDA

Bob Zmuda (born December 12, 1949) is an American writer, comedian, producer and director best known as the sidekick, co-writer and friend of cult personality Andy Kaufman.

Bob Zmuda occasionally portrayed Kaufman's Tony Clifton character on stage and for television appearances (Zmuda has not confirmed the rumor that it was he and not Kaufman who appeared as Clifton on Late Night with David Letterman).

In 1986, Zmuda founded the American version of Comic Relief, an annual event that raises money to help the homeless in the United States. The event was televised on HBO, and was hosted bycomedians Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg.

In 1999, Zmuda wrote a book about Kaufman's life, entitled Andy Kaufman Revealed!, which purported to unveil many tricks and hoaxes that the two pulled off in front of audiences and television cameras in the 1980s. The book has been criticized by some of Kaufman's fans, as well as Kaufman's family, for inaccuracies which cast doubt on some of Zmuda's anecdotal claims.

Later that year, Miloš Forman directed Man on the Moon, the story of Kaufman's life. Zmuda created the "Tony Clifton" makeup for the film, and also made a brief appearance, portraying comedian Jack Burns, one of the producers, who gets into a brawl on stage during one of Kaufman's appearances on the 1980-82 ABC Saturday Night Live-like show, Fridays. Zmuda was also Man on the Moon's co-executive producer. On camera, the character of Bob Zmuda was played by Paul Giamatti. Stanley Kaufman, Andy's father, criticized Zmuda's influence on the film shortly after its release, writing in the form of Andy speaking from beyond the grave.[1]

Bob Marley

Celebrating 15 years as a stand-up comic, Bob Marley is one of the hottest and most sought-after comedians in the country. He has been featured in his own special onComedy Central, and is one of the few comics to do the complete late- night TV circuit: “The Late Show” with David Letterman, “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno, “Late Night” with Conan O’Brien and “The Late Late Show” with Craig Ferguson and Craig Kilborn.

Marley, a Maine native and University of Maine at Farmington graduate, uses biographical and observational material for his high-energy routines. He began his career in his hometown of Portland, and then moved to Boston to gain experience in a city known for spawning comedy all-stars.

A regular at the Aspen and Montreal comedy festivals, Marley was named one of Variety’s “10 Comics to Watch,” Marley has also appeared in several films, including the cult favorite, “Boondock Saints.” The peripatetic Marley works nonstop throughout the country, in such cities as Los Angles, Las Vegas, Washington, D.C., Boston, New York and Denver.

After living in Los Angles for several years, he, his wife and three children have returned to Maine to live.

ANT

Anthony Steven Kalloniatis (born August 23, 1967^[1]), now known professionally and legally as Ant^[2], is a Greek-American stand-up comedian and actor.^[3]Ant prefers his name spelled in all capital letters.^[4]

A native of Londonderry, New Hampshire, Ant performed at comedy clubs across the nation. For four years starting in 1995, he was a semi regular cast member on the WB series Unhappily Ever After.

With the end of that show and looking for ways to supplement his income, Ant recruited several men to become internet models. His involvement in the voyeur cam business is documented in the 2001 film WebCam Boys, which he also co-produced.^[5]

Ant appeared as a contestant on Last Comic Standing, and has appeared in four of that show's five seasons. That same year, he released a comedy album on Comedy Central Records, Follow My Ass. In 2005, he released the comedy DVD, "ANT: America's Ready."

He is the host of VH1 reality series Celebrity Fit Club and was a regular judge of talent on Steve Harvey's Big Time. His television series, U.S. of ANT, premiered on MTV Network's gay-targeted Logo cable channel in the summer of 2006. Ant also frequently appears as a commentator on such shows as VH1's Best Week Ever and CNBC's Dennis Miller, and is a regular guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as well as "The Howard Stern Show".

In 2007, he appeared along with Snoop Dogg as a guest star on MTV's sketch comedy show Short Circuitz.

ANT also appeared as a regular celebrity guest on the game show, "To Tell The Truth," alongside Jacke Harry, Meshack Taylor and John O'Hurley.

In 2008 he was a contestant on VH1's reality competition Celebracadabra, where celebrities trained with established magicians, and competed in an elimination-format contest. Ant was eliminated in episode 2 and brought back in episode 4, but did not go on to win.

He was a talent judge in NBC's 5th season of Last Comic Standing, along with Kathleen Madigan and Alonzo Bodden.

On 30 September 2008 it was reported that Ant is suing British presenters Ant & Dec for using his name in the U.S. The suit, among other things, alleges trademark infringement and fraud. The case is still pending in the District Court of Boston.^[6].

On November 18, 2008, Ant's longtime life partner, Richard P. Scofield, passed away in his arms.^[7] Responding to the moving outcries of support from his fans, Ant held on online memorial service for Richard and the netizens who knew him from his online life. November 23, 2008, many believe was the date of the web's first online memorial service for a same sex couple. ^[8]

Ant is an avid poker player and is also one of the regular "famous faces"^[9], and player an the online poker website Hollywood Poker -- run in conjunction with Ongame Network.

[edit]References

Jim Edwards

Ok, so you want to talk about Jim Edwards? 

Jim is a well respected Los Angeles comedian. He has an extensive and multi-talented background in comedy and broadcasting spanning a number of years. 

He started his broadcasting career at the Indiana University radio and television department as a freshman. Following college, he produced David Letterman's radio talk show. He then went on to do news and sports on radio and then became a Television sports reporter and sports anchor. 

Jim's stand-up comedy career began in San Francisco and continues to flourish as a very funny and popular comedian in Los Angeles. 

He is a very active guy and enjoys various activities like golf, basketball and martial arts. He also enjoys hanging around the house with his yellow Labrador dog, Big AL. 

For information on bookings for corporate, stand-up, acting and voice overs, please contact Jim's representative.

Robert Klein

Early life

Klein was born in the Bronx, the son of Frieda (née Moskowitz) and Benjamin Klein^[4][5] and was raised in a "prototypical 1950s Bronx Jewish" environment.^[6]After graduating from De Witt Clinton high school, Klein planned to study medicine. However, he changed his mind during his studies in university. After graduating from Alfred University, he studied at Yale Drama School^[7] when he got wind of an opportunity to audition for The Second City. In a piece he wrote for the improvisational troupe's book, Klein recalled sitting in a room full of other hopefuls including Fred Willard. Klein's audition consisted of an improvisationset with Willard about two guys in a nightclub, which was successful enough to get Klein and Willard hired to join The Second City. Klein had said another young man, Billy Dee Williams, was invited to join the troupe but turned it down.

[edit]

Ray Romano

His early comedy career included many outlets such as Comedy Central, where he had been a recurring guest voice on the show Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist. He also was a contestant on Star Search in the stand-up comedy category. He was originally cast to play "Joe" on the American television sitcomNewsRadio, but was fired, to be replaced by Joe Rogan. Shortly thereafter, he became the star of his own show, Everybody Loves Raymond, that featured a cast and format more suitable to Romano's brand of humor.

Romano and his comedian friend Kevin James starred in the salesman comedy Grilled, as two guys of the same profession who are both very desperate to land a big sale. Romano was featured on a 2000 episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, on which he won US$125,000 for the NYPD's D.A.R.E. Unit. His older brother, Richard Romano (born in 1956) is a sergeant with the NYPD. He also has a younger brother, Robert Romano (born 1965).

In 2001, Romano was named one of E!'s top twenty entertainers of the year. In the same year, he was featured with his brother (a teacher at a school in Long Island) on a New York Police Department recruiting poster. In 2004, he became the highest paid television actor in history for his role of Raymond on CBS'sEverybody Loves Raymond. It was later revealed on E! that he had broken another record by his show having the highest revenue, at US$3.9 billion.

On December 13, 2003, Romano was featured as a special guest star, sending a birthday card to Bob Barker in his eightieth-birthday bash on the seventh "Million Dollar Spectacular" special of the long-running daytime CBS series The Price Is Right.

Romano was the subject of the documentary film 95 MILES TO GO. The film documents Romano's road-trip for a series of gigs across the South. The film was released in theaters on April 7, 2006 by ThinkFILM.^[4] In August 2006, Romano was interviewed in front of a live audience at UCLA by fellow stand-up veteran,David Steinberg, for an episode of Sit Down Comedy with David Steinberg. The program first aired on the TV Land network in March 2007.

THE COMEDIAN

NCC Timmy and I watched the Comedian on DVD over some orange chicken from panda. I think they put something in that chicken bc it's like crack. The Comedian has an all star cast but is basically Sienfeld trying to get back on stage and Orny Adams circa 2002 being very jealous. I would rent this DVD again. It's good for anyone wanting to get into comedy.

bangCock Jail

"Not Tonight, Honey" Bust

Louisiana man gets fat lip for refusing to have sex with girlfriend

DECEMBER 10--Meet Brittany Phillips. Early Saturday morning, the 19-year-old Louisiana woman wanted some sex from her boyfriend. But Todd Stewart, 35, was apparently not in the mood. In fact, he tried to push Phillips off of him in the bedroom of the pair's West Monroe home. That much the couple can agree upon, according to Ouachita Parish Sheriff's Office reports. Phillips claims Stewart became violent after rebuffing her advances. Stewart told an investigator that he left the bedroom to sleep on a living room couch, but that Phillips "would not leave him alone." At some point, he added, things got physical and he was stabbed in the lower lip with "a long metal object which appeared to be a knife." For her part, the frisky Phillips acknowledged to Deputy Shane Smith that she struck Stewart, but said it was done "to protect herself." Phillips, pictured in the below mug shot, was charged with aggravated battery, while a bloody Stewart, seen here, was charged with simple battery. Phillips was also booked on a pair of outstanding warrants, for simple battery and damage to property. (4 pages)

Seth Mac farlane

Seth Woodbury MacFarlane (born October 26, 1973) is an Emmy award-winning American comedian, animator, screenwriter, producer, actor, voice actor andcomposer. MacFarlane is best known as the creator and executive producer of Fox Broadcasting Company's animated series Family Guy and American Dad!. He was executive producer of the short-lived television series The Winner. MacFarlane's series are produced through his company, Fuzzy Door Productions.^[1]

MacFarlane voices several characters from his cartoon programs Family Guy and American Dad!. He also voices The English Yokel from The Cleveland Show.^[2] As an actor, he has made guest appearances on shows such as Gilmore Girls and The War at Home. MacFarlane's interest in science fiction andfantasy has led to cameo and guest appearances on Star Trek: Enterprise and voicing the character of Johann Krauss in Guillermo del Toro's Hellboy II: The Golden Army, as well as making a guest appearance in the film Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder. His cartoon shows are known for spoof references toStar Wars and Star Trek. He recently made his own YouTube channel called Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy.

He occasionally speaks at universities and colleges throughout the United States. A recent deal signed with The Fox Broadcasting Company has made MacFarlane the highest-paid television writer and producer in history. He resides in Los Angeles, California where he recently purchased a $13.5 million home and is reportedly being paid $100 million by 20th Century Fox TV for his most recent contract with them.^[3]

beating

Teens Charged In Nursing Home Abuse

Cops: Female caregivers spat on, spanked, humiliated infirm elderly

DECEMBER 2--A group of teenagers working at a Minnesota nursing home abused and sexually humiliated elderly residents suffering from Alzheimer's disease and dementia, prosecutors allege. The six young female caregivers were named yesterday in criminal complaints charging them with a variety of cruel behavior at the Good Samaritan Society nursing home in Albert Lee, a city in southern Minnesota. Only two of those charged--Brianna Broitzman, 19, and Ashton Larson, 18--are named in the complaints since they were not minors when the alleged abuse occurred. According to District Court complaints filed against Broitzman (pictured above left) and Larson (above right), nursing home residents were spat upon, spanked, improperly touched, and tormented by the teenagers earlier this year. Excerpts of the misdemeanor complaints can be found below. Broitzman allegedly poked one resident's breasts, spit into the mouth of another elderly person, and "put her bare butt" in the face of a Good Samaritan Society resident identified as "S.W." Larson once "inserted her finger into a resident's rectum," spit water on another "vulnerable adult," and would deliberately bathe a resident in a rough manner so the elderly man would get an erection. The minor caregivers are identified in the complaints by their initials and dates of birth. Broitzman, charged with 11 criminal counts, and Larson, charged with 10 counts, face a year in jail or up to a year in jail on each of the raps. (8 pages)