Dante

Funniest Comic in LA contest
April 20
April 27
May 4th
May 5th SEMI FINALS
All heald at The Canoga Park Bowl
20122 Vanowen St., Canoga PArk, CA 91305


(we need more comics to sign up. There are lots of open spots)

Comics if you see your name you are confirmed…If you don’t see your name you either sent me a request to the wrong E mail, Asked for an unavailable date or did not tell me what category to put you in.

To sign up for the contest you must send an E mail to contest@​comicdante.​com only! Let me know your name, Number, 2 year and under or Headliner and pick a date …April 20th and 27th or May 4th. Semi finals will be May 5th and The Finals will be at the IMprov in Hollywood….​Date TBA. The Contest will Take place at the Canoga Park Bowl 20122 Vanowen St. Canoga Park CA. 91306. Contest Starts at 8pm sharp. ALL CONTESTANTS MUST BE THERE BY 7PM AS WE NEED TO DRAW FOR SPOTS AND HEAR ALL RULES READ AND PAY ADMISSION. $25 entry fee.
The show is free to your guest so please invite people. ALL CONTESTANTS AND GUEST MUST BE 21 AND UP
April 20th Monday
2 year and under
Jeff Kazanjian
Shannon McDonnald
Patrick Ford
Marty Foster
Eric Bell
Colby Dant


Headliner
Marty Ross
Zoltan Kaszas
Jessica Coccli
Joe Ruggeriello
James Davis

April 27th Monday
2 Year and under
Jason McClees
Loren Kling
Ryan Bozsan
Susan Coletti
Rob Christensen

Headliner
(Full)
Tim Shaw
Billy Batz
Tony LaScala
Bart Tangredi
Ryan Stayton
Danny Farrell
Natalie Grey
Todd Basil
Brendan Bowman
Eric DeLuca
Ina Romeo

May 4thMonday
2year and under
(FULL)
Janet Chiara
Les Kurkendaal
Justin Cross
Leisa Mills
Tom Sheridan
Brent Koetter
Andrew Love
Fernando Aragon
Byron Gaither
Rochelle Newman

Headliner
Jay Cramer
Tad Moore
Gwenda Perez

LA PIZZA COMEDY

Maybe I was there on the wrong night but it was a full house and some great comics showed up to do their sets. LA Pizza is in Granada Hills on Devonshire next to the Baja Fresh. The stage is in the way back right next to the beers, so I was happy. It started at 8pm

Joke Gym Thurs

Great show last night at The Joke Gym. About 30 people were there. 25 comics went up for 5 minutes each. It was the one year anny for Joke Gym and they passed out Snickers bars which are worth like "alot" in prison. Amy Ashton was last. She was funny.

Bill Burr

Bill Burr is an American comedian or a comedian from the North American Union, depending on when you read this. He grew up outside of Boston, Massachusetts and did fairly poorly in school, despite the fact that he applied himself.

Having first gained notoriety for his reoccurring role on the second season of Chappelle’s Show, Burr has gone on to become a regular performer on the Late Show with David Letterman and to have his very own HBO Half Hour Special.

Bill’s most recent project was an hour-long comedy special entitled: “Why Do I Do This?” that aired on Comedy Central, and is now available in stores and on this web site.

When in New York, Burr always performs on the Opie and Anthony Radio Show and eats at Ray’s Famous Pizza. Bill also co-hosts his own XM radio show, “Uninformed”, with fellow comedian Joe DeRosa.

Bill is against organized religion and believes we should go back to the gold standard for our currency. None of his opinions are based on any sort of reliable information. He tends to go with his first thought, because reading makes him sleepy.

In the future Bill hopes to get married, have some kids, and get a dog. But until then, he will continue to spend most of his mid-afternoons sitting in his sweatpants learning AC/DC songs on his SG.

Kirk Fox

Timmy and I went to Comedy Store last night. Saw Kirk Fox. He did a solid 15 minutes of new stuff or at least new for me. Pauly Shore was after him and Pauly had a strong 15 minutes. I liked his edge on him making a Hollywood comeback. That's a great place to see comedy. 

Artie Lang

MADtv

In 1995, he landed a role as one of the original cast members of FOX's sketch comedy show MADtv. Lange had previous sketch comedy experience with the improv troupe "Live on Tape".^[14] His most popular recurring character on the show was "That's My White Mama".^[15]

Lange stated that his lowest point of cocaine use occurred during a shooting of the MADtv sketch "Babewatch" (a parody of Babe and Baywatch), in which he played Babe the pig as a lifeguard. Because the sketch involved going through hours of make-up so as to transform the comedian into a pig, he snorted cocaine in his car in full pig make-up during a break in the shooting of the sketch. Upon returning from the shoot, he passed out in his hotel room, awakening to find he had defecated in his bed.^[13] The cast and fanbase of The Howard Stern Show now refer to this incident as "The Pig Story." During the second season of MADtv, his stint with the show came to a dramatic end. After a cocaine binge, cast and crew members attempted to have an intervention for him. Lange fled the studio running through streets and backyards with his co-workers chasing after him. The chase ended in a supermarket, where he was arrested. Lange attempted to punch one of the police officers. He was sentenced to time served and probation.^[15] Lange began psychiatric counseling and inpatient drug rehabilitation. However, the producers decided not to renew his contract for a third season.^[16]

Lange appeared in an episode during the show's tenth season

Jamie Kennedy

I just read WANNABE by Jamie Kennedy and it's one of the best books I've read in a while. The 1st chapter is boring and basic filler for his family. Then the book gets great. He talks about how hard he struggled in Hollywood before he got a gig. A very honest and open book.

Jimmy Pardo

Pardo was born on July 28 in Chicago and eventually grew up in Hometown, Illinois and Oak Forest, IL. He moved to Los Angeles in 1995 to continue his career in stand-up comedy. Pardo is married to fellow comedian Danielle Koenig^[1], daughter of Walter Koenig. They have one son, Oliver Pardo.

[edit]Comedy career

Pardo hosted GSN's National Lampoon's Funny Money from June to October 2003. He has also appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as well as several appearances on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson^[2].

Currently, Pardo hosts the award-winning podcast Never Not Funny with the producer Matt Belknap. He also hosted the cult favorite, Match Game Live, a live version of the Match Game television game show, to standing room only crowds at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles. He currently hosts the UCB Theatre's "You Bet Your Life", a 2009 version of Groucho's old show.

In addition to his comedy CDs Uno and Pompous Clown, in 2007 Pardo appeared on the comedy compilation CD Comedy Death-Ray. Pardo is also featured on The Bob and Tom Show's comedy collectionAs Big As a Hat.

Aziz Ansari

Aziz Ansari (born February 23, 1983) is an Indian American actor/comedian. He is best known as one of the stars of the critically acclaimed sketch comedy series Human Giant on MTV, for which he is also a writer and executive producer. The show recently completed its second season.

In 2009, Ansari will appear in a new NBC series starring Amy Poehler from producers of The Office.

He has also appeared on the HBO series Flight of the Conchords. He's recently completed roles in the films Observe and Report with Seth Rogen and I Love You, Man with Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. In October 2008, it was announced Ansari had joined the cast of the new Judd Apatow film Funny People starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen. On January 6th 2009, Ansari debuted on the season 8 premiere of the ABC sitcom Scrubs as Ed, a new intern to the hospital. He is slated to appear in a few more episodes.

He currently resides in Los Angeles.

Diane Kawasaki

Diane Kawasaki is a 24-year-old Japanese-Korean-American little person with a mission in life: to confront ignorance and stupidity with her comedy. “Ever since I can remember,” Diane says, “strangers have either assumed I was retarded or felt that they had a right to satisfy their curiosity by asking me personal questions like ‘How do you take a shower?’ or ‘why are you like that?’ ” Anyone expecting a cute, polite response hasn’t met Diane! “I have better things to do than discuss my life story with strangers. So, to save time (and my sanity), I am using comedy as a medium to educate people and allow society a glimpse into my life…Plus I want to get really rich!” 

Diane was raised in a traditional Asian-American household, which means she was taught to suppress her feelings and refrain from asking questions. Apparently, it didn’t take! Nobody who has witnessed this feisty firebrand’s outrageous comedy would come away with the impression that she was shy or demure. Diane’s hilariously honest comedy is based on real life experiences, and she attacks ignorance with the aggressive force of comics like Margaret Cho, Chris Rock and Roseanne. “I spent most of my younger years being a polite drone, but now I’m in the process of breaking free of my sweet Asian little girl shell. I share my encounters with America’s Most Ignorant, and make sure people know that I’m not going to tolerate disrespect! My goal in comedy is to say all the stuff I didn’t have a chance to say being the sweet little Asian hybrid child.” 

Diane was born and raised in Honolulu, HI. “Everyone asks me why I left paradise,” she remembers. “I lived on a block with four major “gentlemen’s clubs” and my mom was mugged right outside of my childhood home.” Ah paradise! After getting a degree in journalism from the University of Hawaii, Diane landed a lucrative job folding brochures for the government. Unfortunately, she was soon replaced by a machine that turned out to be “faster and more economical” (and had a better attitude). In 2006, she moved to L.A. to study screenwriting at UCLA. “Like 98% of L.A.’s coffee shop patrons, I believed I would be the next Stallone and write my Rocky and star in it. I was quite disappointed when I realized I was yet another tree killer without a justified cause.” Reluctant to concede defeat, Diane took a standup writing workshop. She discovered that standup comedy was more satisfying than writing scripts, and began to pour her energy into her act. “Years and years of suppression finally started to fade away with this new opportunity.” And audiences just can’t get enough of Diane’s clever wit and firecracker personality! 

Diane’s comedy is feisty, honest and direct. She finds inspiration in the work of George Carlin, Margaret Cho, Rita Rudner, Ellen Degeneres, Roseanne and Chris Rock. She has performed at The Ice House, The Hollywood Improv, The Comedy Store, and nightclubs, bars and coffee shops throughout Southern California. She has performed in benefits for the L.A. Women’s Shakespeare Company and the Forever Free Alumni Association. Diane has appeared on Laff it Off With Grace, as well as several independent short films and webisodes. She continues to continues to make audiences laugh while confronting ignorance and demanding respect.

joke gym Thurs

Tom VRab was 2nd up on Thurs and he kicked some ass. I saw him last year and he's really taken his comedy to new levels. He has fun on stage and is comfortable with the crowd. He's got great jokes. He knows when the jokes don't work and has a feel for the crowd. A top comic at the joke gym.

joke gym Thurs

The joke gym was packed and when I say packed, it had more than 12 people. I counted 24 and 2 others who were comics. Tim Cannonball was 10th on the list. I handed him a slip of paper with 2 minutes of jokes and he stretched it to 5 five. It was his first time on stage not counting 8 years ago at his cousin Jesse's wedding. He got a lot of laughs. I spoke to Tim after the show and while he pushed away tears I said "you killed." Tim thought that he bombed but I associate that with him being sober on stage. Good Job Timmy.

JOKE GYM Thurs

The new year started late for The Joke Gym because we didn't have a show on January 1. We made up for it, however, but recruiting our favorite Jewish Canadian rocket scientist as guest MC. 

Yes, Rudy Boehmer did the honors at another full house tonight. 

In the open mic: 
Dave Smith
Tom Vrab
Ryan Niemiller
Jim Lee
Corey Craig
Paula Johnson
Mark Seaton
Patrick Hill
Mark Akita
Tim Cannon*
Crazy Marvin Ladd
Scott Shimamoto
Yak
Ben Random
Eric DeLuca
Steve Bruner*
Barry Weisenberg
Steve Schneider
Yashar Kafi
Katsy Chappell
Richard Chang
Tyrone Fance
Dennis Burke*
*First time at The Joke Gym

And a special thanks to Amy Snively who was the last of our booked featured comics.

JOKE GYM

Show Dates
Thursday, Jan. 15, 2008
Guest MC Rudy Boehmer
Comedian sign-ups: 6:30 p.m.
Open mic show: 7 to 9 p.m.
Featured comic: Amy Snively

Feb. 5: MC Paula Johnson
Feb. 19: MC Scott Shimamoto
Our one-year anniversary!
March 5: Guest MC Rosé
March 19: MC Paula Johnson
April 2: MC Scott Shimamoto
April 16
May 7:
May 21:
June 4
June 18
July 2
July 16:
Aug. 6
Aug. 20
Sept. 3
Sept. 17
Oct. 1
Oct. 15
Nov. 5
Nov. 19
Dec. 3
Dec. 17

Howie

Sources tell TMZ Howie Mandel was rushed to a Toronto hospital Monday night after suffering severe chest pains.

Cops tell us they found Howie conscious and breathing at around 7 PM in the elevator of the Sheraton Hotel on Queen Street. According to sources, Mandel was taken to St. Michael's Hospital. There are reports he complained of an irregular heartbeat earlier Monday.

We're told Mandel is spending the night in the hospital and being treated for an irregular heartbeat.

Howie was in Toronto taping his new show, "Howie Do It."

Story developing..

Jamie Kennedy

WOW! I had to press pause for the Heckler. This is an Awesome movie. JK kicks ass!

cruise

This is the second article on the ups and downs of working as a guest performer (in my case, as a magician) on cruise ships. I have worked on over 32 different ship during the past 7 years. I will try to describe as accurately as possible the life of a guest performer on a cruise ship.

A captive audience

When I started working on cruise ships comedy clubs were very popular. Numerous bars offered stand-up comic acts and I used to play in four or five towns every week. I’d get paid $100 to $150 a night. After taking care of expenses (gas, material, equipment rental and food), there wasn’t much left!

I quickly understood that I had to find a place that would be more lucrative to perform if I wanted reasonable pay. I did have a few golf tournaments during the summer and some conventions throughout the year but those were not always assured and conditions left much to be desired.

So I decided to look into cruise ships. I had a promotional video made and my agent contacted American booking agents specialized in cruise liners.

When I’d come back to Quebec, I would still perform in comedy clubs. Comedians I spent time with often asked me where else I was working and I would answer that I also worked on cruise ships.

I would get all kinds of reactions, but most often people said: “It’s easy to perform in front of a captive audience, they have nowhere to go.” I didn’t argue with them but, to tell the truth, I always found performing on a cruise ship very unsettling.

Let me explain. The public on a cruise ship takes for granted that we owe them something. That public can stand up and leave the room at any moment. Since they didn’t have to “pay”, strictly speaking, they have much less patience. It’s in your interest to be very good in the first five minutes and your act should not have any slow moments. Those people are used to watching action movies on television and they zap easily. But now, they don’t have a remote control…

In general that kind of public does not show its appreciation much. After hundreds of shows, I would say that about one person out of eight (1/8) applauds after a number (the others must still think they’re in front of their TV). How many times have I seen, just in front of me in the first rows, people slumped into their seats, arms crossed, their whole attitude saying “Come on, funny boy, make me laugh…”

Working in front of such a captive audience on a cruise ship is very hard. That kind of public can easily turn against you. You have to be politically correct at all times. Americans being rather prudish, you have to be very cautious when you hint at sex. Above all, never ever venture on the delicate topic of religion.

I talk mostly about Americans because they constitute the bulk of the clientele traveling on cruise ships.

That public is also very moody. If the weather is bad, if the boat rocks a lot, you can expect a tough night. The hardest evening is without a doubt the first—the Welcome Aboard evening. People have been traveling all day, they’ve waited in line for hours, they’re tired and cranky.

The public is generally made up of seniors (except for a few weeks every year). Some companies have a younger clientele (Carnival), whereas others like Holland of America attract older people (on average 65 and over). I’ve noticed that the average customer age varies with the destination. For example, you are sure to entertain a senior public if you’re going to the Panama Canal or any other destination with many days at sea.

A working evening generally includes 2 shows of 45 minutes each with 2 different publics. You can thus repeat the same act.

I was saying earlier that it is very unsettling to work for this kind of public. For reasons that are unclear to me, you can have an excellent first act and one that is so-so an hour later or vice versa, no matter how much energy you put into it. The same tricks, the same jokes, etc., and the publics react differently even if they are on the same boat, go to the same places, eat the same food, etc.

No, it isn’t easy to work in front of a “captive” audience on a cruise ship. It is one of the hardest publics to please, after a group made up of 98% males after a golf tournament, but that is another story.

EDDIE

U.S. comic EDDIE GRIFFIN is facing legal action from a member of a TV crew who claims to have been assaulted by the star.
Vince Beane has filed papers at Los Angeles Superior Court accusing the stand-up comedian of attacking him on 10 March (08).
At the time of the alleged incident, Beane was working as a production manager on a pilot TV show starring Griffin, and he claims the star flew into a drunken rage when he discovered he had been booked into a "cheap three star hotel" - allegedly taking his anger out on Beane.
The TV firm - The Leslie Grief Company - is also named in the suit, according to TMZ.com. Bosses are accused of plying Griffin with alcohol and then failing to protect staff from "the violent propensity of the inebri

BILL

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Comedian Bill Cosby settles sex assault case

Posted Thu Nov 9, 2006 1:01pm AEDT

US comedian Bill Cosby has settled a lawsuit brought by a woman who claimed he sexually assaulted her, Cosby's publicist says.

Andrea Constand, a native of Canada, said in the suit the attack occurred at Cosby's home in suburban Philadelphia in early 2004, when he allegedly drugged her and then assaulted her.

"Ms Constand and Mr Cosby have resolved their differences, and therefore the litigation has been dismissed," Cosby's publicist David Brokaw said in a statement.

He said there would be no further comment.

Ms Constand's suit alleged at least 10 other women also had been assaulted by the 69-year-old comedian.

Prosecutors decli

jobs

The dude who took the incredibly awesome photos of a skier being dangled with his dangle hangin' out -- could lose his job over the incident. 

Marty Odem -- a photographer who works for a company that shoots pics of skiers at Vail Mountain ski lifts -- says he's already been suspended over the pics and believes he'll probably get fired over the incident. The photo company says the pics violate the skier's privacy. No pun intended.

Odom wrote on a snowboarding website that he took the pictures on his day off and was carrying his own camera. Even with the threat of losing his job, Odem claims "the photo is worth it." 

And it 

old skool comic

It looks like nothing will come of Marty Ingles and the Case of the Missing $500 Hat. 

Ingles' rep tells TMZ the D.A. won't charge Shirley Jones' husband over the December incident at a Burbank hat store. TMZ obtained surveillance videoshowing Ingles take the hat, but he always maintained it was a misunderstanding. Apparently, the district attorney's office agreed. 

The D.A.'s office was closed and could not be reached for comment.

Sacha Baron

The comedian, who has been sued by several people who featured in his film Borat, will be ready for similar reactions after the release of the big-screen debut of his character Bruno.

The title character, a gay Austrian fashion journalist, is already well known for storming runways at designers' shows and aiming to embarrass industry figures in interviews. Clips of his work have become cult favourites on YouTube.

And it is thought that the film version will see Bruno in more outrageous form.

As well as the Jesus character, it is rumoured that Bruno and his boyfriend, Diesel, adopt an orphaned African baby boy called David and parade the child around fashion shows. It is thought the joke is aimed at Madonna, who adopted a Malawian baby called David Banda.

A source reported to have seen the film in a test screening told The Sun: "Sacha has really gone for the shock tactics this time. The characters were created deliberately to wind up certain sections of society and Jesus is one of them.

"It won't be the first time Sacha has landed himself in hot water," the source reportedly added. "The water might be a little hotter this time round, though. Religion isn't always the best place to poke fun."

Faizon Love

A man alleged that comedian Faizon Love attacked him Wednesday in a West Hollywood hotel, the sheriff's department reported.

Deputies went to the Standard Hotel, 8300 W. Sunset Blvd., about 1 a.m., but Love was not there, said Sgt. Kristin Aloma of the sheriff's West Hollywood Station.

"There was an allegation of a battery," Aloma said. The alleged victim declined medical treatment, and deputies took a report, Aloma said. Detectives will handle any follow-up.

The story was broken by TMZ.com. It reported that Love was sued in June 2007 for allegedly assaulting a woman who was a former stage manager in one of his productions.

Love, 40, appeared in the 1995 movie "Friday," portraying the character Big Worm; and appeared most recently in the 2008 movies "Days of Wrath" and "Of Boys and Men," according to the Web site IMDb.com.

george lopez

A NY doctor who's demanding the return of the kidney he donated to his adultery-committing ex-wife suddenly has a brand new enemy -- George Lopez's wife!

Ann Lopez, who once donated one of her kidneys to save George's life, has fired off a statement, crushing the Kidneyian Giver – aka Dr Richard Batista – for the "outrageous demand" he made in the New York media. Batista – who found out about his wife's affair after he donated the organ -- demanded his wife return the kidney or fork over $1.5 million ASAP. 

In the statement, Lopez says, "Being an organ donor is selflessly giving another person the gift of life. Organ donation is an act of compassion, humanity, and love. To ask for monetary compensation for this gift is not only illegal but sends a highly destructive and irreparable message about living organ donation to the public.

comedy

Law enforcement sources say comedian/actor Faizon Love is the suspect in a battery last night in West Hollywood.

The incident went down at 1:00 AM this morning at the Standard Hotel. Love -- who played Big Worm in "Friday" -- allegedly struck a man in the head with his fist. By the time cops arrived, Love was nowhere to be found. Cops tell us -- they'd Love to talk to him.

In June 2007, Love was sued for allegedly committing a"barbaric assault" on a woman who was a former stage manager in one of his productions. She says the actor chased her around the table, yelled and cursed and threw chairs at her after she allegedly rejected his sexual advances. It appears a default judgment was entered against Love.

comedy

Work as a Cruise Ship Comedian

How to Get a Job Performing Stand-up Comedy Onboard

© Leslie Halpern

Aug 18, 2007

Performing stand-up comedy on a cruise ship is not the place to start your career, but it may be a great way to make extra money and broaden your experience.

The squeaky clean image of cruise line comedy is changing. Today’s cruise ship comedians are contemporary, hip, and willing to take chances.

Typically there are three nightly shows. The two earlier shows feature Las Vegas-style seating for 1000 people and family-oriented comedy. The special midnight “adult” comedy show is smaller and lasts from 30 minutes to an hour. To avoid misunderstandings, stand-up comics give their shows a sensitivity rating in the cruise newsletter.

Pay and Assignments Vary on Cruise Ships

No one rule exists for cruise line gigs. Pay and assignments vary depending upon the comic’s television exposure, name recognition, and reputation. Schedules may range from three shows a night for three/four nights to one show once a week. Payment is generally quite good, with high pay for minimal work.

The average gig is a four-day assignment, lasting for a few months (or sometimes longer). Afterward, the comedian usually goes back on the road performing regular jobs at comedy clubs. Cruise ship assignments allow great flexibility by providing short-or-long-term jobs exactly when you need them.

In addition to good pay and free travel, cruises offer other perks. Food and accommodations are free, although as anyone who has ever traveled onboard knows, the confined cruise quarters are too small for doing much more than sleeping.

Smothers BRos

The Smothers Brothers are an American music-and-comedy team, consisting of the brothers Tom ("Tommy") and Dick Smothers. The brothers' trademark act was performing folk songs (Tommy on acoustic guitar, Dick on string bass), which usually led to arguments between the siblings. Tommy's signature line was, "Mom always liked you best!" Tommy (the elder of the two) acted "slow," and Dick, the straight man, acted "superior."

In the 1960s, the brothers frequently appeared on television variety shows and issued several popular record albums of their stage performances. Their own television variety show, The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour^[1], became one of the most influential and controversial American TV programs of the Vietnam War era. Despite popular success, the brothers' penchant for material that was critical of the political mainstream (and sympathetic to the emergingcounterculture) led to their program's cancellation by the CBS network in 1969.

The brothers continued to work, both independently and as a team, on stage, on television and in films during subsequent decades. They continue to tour the country as the longest-lived comedy team in history; 2008 marks their 50th year performing together.

Dante

Rebekah KOchan and I run a room called Canoga Park bowl. It is a work out room for comedians. See some of the biggest names in comedy working out new jokes mixed with fresh faces. It is a really fun night! It is Free and the booze is the cheepest in LA!

Exit the 101 just north of the 405 at Winnetka and go south. It is located at the corner of Winnetka and Vanowen!

Canoga Park Bowl
20122 Vanowen St.
Canoga Park, CA 91306

NO COVER
NO DRINK MIN
MUST BE 21 AND OVER WITH ID (EVEN COMICS MUST HAVE ID)

Sunday Jan. 4th
8:45 MC John Mader (20)
9:05 Mel Kohl (15)
9:20 Tricia Shore (10)
9:30 Sandy Brown (15)
9:45 Nader (15)
10:00 Greg Vaccariello (20)
10:20 Mike Muratore (30)
10:50 Mark White (15)
11:05 Kevin Rudy (10)
(Please allow Ken Pringle any slot for (15))

Monday January 5th
8:45 MC Jay Cramer (15)
9:00 Dan Ruetter (8)
9:10 Mel Kohl (10)
9:20 Howard Smith (8)
9:29 Reg Tigerman (8)
9:37 Brain Andrews (3)
9:40 Les Kirkendaal (5)
9:45NEW MC Sandy Brown (10)
9:57 Shannon McDonald (8)
10:05 Rebekah Kochan (10)
10:15 Dante (15)
10:30 John Diresta 15)
10:45 John Mader (12)
11:00 Mike Muratore (15)
11:15 Chris Z (8)
11:24 Mark White (10)
11:34 Reg Tigerman (7)
Please Allow Ken Pringle a drop in spot for (10)

Tuesday January 6th
8:30 MC Kamaka Brown (15)
8:45 Jay Cramer (10)
8:55 Mel Kohl (10)
9:05 Sandy Brown (12)
9:20 Rebekah Kochan (12)
9:33 Dante (20)
9:53 John Diresta (20)
10:14 Ken Pringle (12)
10:27 Les Kirendaal (6)
10:34 Mark White (10)
10:44 Mike Muratore (20)
11:04 John Mader (12)
11:17 Chris Z (10)
11:27 Kevin Rudy (8)

$$$$$$

I have been working in stand-up comedy for about three years now. My main focus is still on my obtaining my college degree, but I am in constant contact with working comics. The answer to this question is... it depends.

No one starts out making great money. You have to "pay your dues" in stand-up, which means spending a lot of your own money trying to get exposure and gigs on your own. You will spend time and money driving, waiting, eating, and schmoozing in your early days. Entering contests and taking guest spots are a great way to get time in front of a non open-mic audience. Some of these gigs even pay.

Hosting or emcee work is your first pay level, usually between $10 and $50 per show. Not bad considering that you only work for 10 minutes. However, if it costs you $30 in gas and tolls to get to your $20 gig...well, you do the math.

Comedy clubs pay between $200 and $1000 (or more) per show for features and headliners. These are usually experienced people who have already done all the work mentioned above. The ones who want to get paid will hustle to get more gigs and exposure, which will increase the amount they can make (provided they don't suck). The goal is to get "discovered" like Dane Cook or Dave Chappelle. Your price can then skyrocket accordingly.

For most, the best way to make money in comedy is working the college scene. Colleges have a lot of disposable income for entertainment, and they are happy to blow it on comedians. You can make $2000-$4000 (or more) for a show on a college campus. The competition is out there, but there are so many schools that you should be able to always work if you have any talent.

This answer is not all inclusive, and there are certain things I have ignored due to time constraints. Just remember, the main factors that will contribute to your income level are your talent, experience, and willingness to work. Surprisingly, the first two always improve if you really work on the last one. "Pay your dues", get funny, and get out there if you want to get paid! 

kathy Griifin

Rant on CNN lands Kathy Griffin in hot water

Her response to a heckler aired live on New Year's Eve

By Paul J. Gough

Jan 2, 2009, 01:43 PM ET

NEW YORK -- Here's an on-air pairing that will probably never happen again after CNN's New Year's Eve telecast: Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin.

Griffin was co-hosting the CNN special telecast of Times Square on New Year's Eve with Cooper. The "My Life on the D-List" star got into hot water early Thursday morning with some choice words to a heckler that were captured live on the channel. It happened after the ball drop but while the telecast was still going on.

"Screw you. Why don't you get a job, buddy?" she told the heckler. "You know what, I don't go to your job and knock the d---- out of your mouth."

The remark had been made as the channel was about to go to commercial, which it did right after, according to a recording of the incident widely available on YouTube.

"We recognize that the comment made by comedian Kathy Griffin during the live broadcast was inappropriate. She did not know she was on the air at the time, and we removed it from the rebroadcast," said a CNN spokeswoman.

Griffin's rant was edited out of a rebroadcast early Thursday morning.

CNN did not have a delay on the broadcast. But perhaps it should have, since Griffin is known for a blue act and even on TV has made controversial remarks. One live comment in accepting a 2007 Emmy for "D-List" offended some Christian groups.

kathy Griifin

Rant on CNN lands Kathy Griffin in hot water

Her response to a heckler aired live on New Year's Eve

By Paul J. Gough

Jan 2, 2009, 01:43 PM ET

NEW YORK -- Here's an on-air pairing that will probably never happen again after CNN's New Year's Eve telecast: Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin.

Griffin was co-hosting the CNN special telecast of Times Square on New Year's Eve with Cooper. The "My Life on the D-List" star got into hot water early Thursday morning with some choice words to a heckler that were captured live on the channel. It happened after the ball drop but while the telecast was still going on.

"Screw you. Why don't you get a job, buddy?" she told the heckler. "You know what, I don't go to your job and knock the d---- out of your mouth."

The remark had been made as the channel was about to go to commercial, which it did right after, according to a recording of the incident widely available on YouTube.

"We recognize that the comment made by comedian Kathy Griffin during the live broadcast was inappropriate. She did not know she was on the air at the time, and we removed it from the rebroadcast," said a CNN spokeswoman.

Griffin's rant was edited out of a rebroadcast early Thursday morning.

Stand Up

Have you always wanted to try stand-up comedy or do you just want to have more confidence when speaking in public?

Are you a comic looking to take your act to the next level?

StandUp Academy can help you to tighten up your act and give you that jump- start you've been looking for. Plus, you join a network of over 100 working LA comics!

With three classes and levels to choose from, StandUp Academy specializes in providing people with the skills they need to kill in front of an audience, in a supportive atmosphere on a world class comedy stage-The Ice House Comedy Club Main Room!

StandUp Academy graduates have gone on to perform on The Tonight Show, BRAVO, E!, the Aspen Comedy Festival, The Ice House, The Improv, The Comedy Store, The Friar's Club, and to win comedy contests all over the Los Angeles area.

Some have shared the stage with Chris Rock, Emo Philips, Andrew Dice Clay, Norm MacDonald, Dave Attell, and more. Others have simply continued their lives and careers with a new sense of fun and self- confidence, and a new group of friends!

StandUp Academy is taught by 20-year veteran comedian Bobbie Oliver. For more info on Bobbie Oliver, check outhttp://bobbieoliver.net/bobbie_home.htm

Kathy Griifin

Comedienne Kathy Griffin may be doomed to life on CNN's S-list after answering a heckler with a shrieking, vulgar tirade during the network's live New Year's Eve broadcast.

"Screw you," she told the heckler. "Why don't you get a job, buddy? You know what? I don't go to your job and knock the d- - - out of your mouth."

The raunchy exchange, which occurred well after the ball dropped at midnight, was received with guffaws by the camera crew.

Kathy Griifin

I didn't know CNN doesn't like the word DORK?

Kathy Griffin is certainly old and experienced enough to know you don't make lewd cracks when you're wearing a hot mike... Anderson Cooper was cool about it, but d**k jokes on CNN just don't seem right -- even for New Years Eve.

Kathy Griifin

Kathy Griffin -- What A D**k!

Posted Jan 1st 2009 9:59AM by TMZ Staff

Kathy Griffin is certainly old and experienced enough to know you don't make lewd cracks when you're wearing a hot mike... Anderson Cooper was cool about it, but d**k jokes on CNN just don't seem right -- even for New Years Eve

Matt Dillon

DECEMBER 31--Actor Matt Dillon was arrested late last night for excessive speeding on a Vermont highway. Dillon, 44, was nabbed by State Police after his car was clocked going 106 mph on Interstate 91. He was fingerprinted and photographed by state troopers, and given a citation to appear at the Orange County court.

Fly the sky

e FBI is looking into a bizarre and frightening incident aboard a commercial jet heading from Houston to Omaha last Friday involving an unstable passenger.

It began with a middle-aged man leaving the plane's lavatory covered in his own feces. "Oh, it was awful. It was worse than that."

Stacey, from Houston, who asked that we not use her last name, says the small commuter jet had just one flight attendant in the cabin, a young man who moved the other passengers forward to empty seats and kept the unkept passenger in the back row.

"I heard all of this ruckus and yelling and I kind of turned around and the poor flight attendant is on his back and the guy is like punching him and I'm like, oh my gosh. It's almost like a scene out of a movie. There were two male passengers behind me that got up and kind of got the guy off of him. The poor steward, he's got a black eye, his eye's swelling. I felt sorry for him."

The injured attendant, with help from the passengers, got the unruly passenger buckled in and calmed down for landing at Eppley Airfield.

The U.S. attorney says the man was not arrested, but detained at the airport by authorities until picked up by trained professionals from a care facility in Iowa.

"Certainly there was a disturbance,” says U.S. Attorney Joe Stecher. “That disturbance was loud. It did get physical. It did get violent. We're glad it came to the conclusion that it did, but I can certainly understand anybody on that plane being upset by what they saw."

Stecher says proving criminal intent may be difficult because of the passenger's mental state. Why he was allowed to fly unsupervised may be a more important result of the FBI investigation.

Airlines are provided lists of people restricted from flying. The passenger's name was not on any of those lists. However, the U.S. attorney will look into what kind of mental treatment the man has been undergoing and whether that should have kept him from flying.

Dane cook

Talk about keeping it in the family -- sources tell TMZ Dane Cook's brother (who was also his business manager) has been arrested for allegedly stealing millions from the comedian.

Darryl McCauley -- who was in charge of Cook's financial affairs since the 90s -- was arrested today by the Massachusetts State Police and charged with three counts of larceny and forgery.

Authorities say in one case, Dane's bro forged a $3 million check and deposited it in his account.

McCauley will be arraigned tomorrow in Woburn District Court.

Bill Murray

Bill Murray Accused Of Drug, Spouse Abuse

Divorce filing says comedian a serial adulterer who abandoned family

MAY 29--Bill Murray is a drug-addicted spousal abuser and serial adulterer who has abandoned his family, according to a scathing divorce filing by his estranged wife. Jennifer Murray alleges that the Academy Award-nominated actor's "adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment" led her in 2006 to move into a separate South Carolina home with the couple's four children. A copy of Jennifer Murray's court complaint, which was first reported by Charleston's The Post & Courier, can be found below. Murray contends that the comedian physically abused her on several occasions during their marriage (they were wed in 1997) and that the star hit her in the face during a November 2007 confrontation in her home. During that incident, the May 12 complaint alleges, the 57-year-old performer "told her she was 'lucky he didn't kill her.'" Jennifer Murray charges that the actor would often leave town without telling her, and sometimes "travels overseas where he engages in public and private altercations and sexual liaisons." She also claims that he "repeatedly...left threatening voice messages on the home telephone which the minor children have heard." In addition to seeking a divorce, Jennifer Murray wants a restraining order issued against the Hollywood star. She also wants a court to determine the legal validity of a premarital agreement signed prior to the couple's July 1997 nuptials. That agreement, a copy of which you'll find here, guarantees Jennifer Murray a lump sum payment of $7 million upon the couple's divorce. (6 pages)

Rollin Jay Moore

The two stage shows were well done. The rest of the entertainment on board was also good. Rollin' Jay Moore was the headliner comedian and he did a great show. We had seen him last year on the Diamond, but he had new material was very funny. The ship's band Onlyne was very good. They were poolside most afternoons, in the Explorer's Lounge in the evening and played for the deck party one night. We really enjoyed them. Neil Chandler is now the CD on Grand. He did a great job. He wasn't trying to be the center of attention all the time like some CD's do.

pauly shore

Comedian Pauly Shore Beaten by Angry Heckler on Stage Some will do ANYTHING to get extra publicity	By Elena Gorgan, Entertainment News Editor 13th of December 2006, 13:08 GMT Adjust text size:
Yesterday, a video surfaced on the Internet with something very similar to the incident that featured Michael 'Kramer' Richards. Allegedly shot over this past weekend, the roughly-shot footage showed comedian ('Bio-Dome', 'Encino Man', 'Pauly') on stage, delivering his funny speech, when he is interrupted by a female heckler sitting at the bar. The whole thing went down in Odessa, Texas, at the 8th Street Comedy Club. The video shows Pauly, known for his foul language and sometimes more than inexplicable behavior, talking back to the woman in a way that would have pleased no one, not to mention her also present boyfriend. When Shore begins to call the woman a 'bitch', yelling at her to 'shut the f**k up!', her boyfriend gets up from his seat and walks on the stage. We can all see the comedian trying to back out of a potentially dangerous situation, urging the angry man to calm down but to no avail. Maybe he should have stopped hurling insults at him. Anyway, the angry cowboy gets up on the stage and, after a brief exchange of nasty words, punches Shore with such force that he falls flat on his back.  A security man then appears and takes the heckler outside. Afterwards, Pauly gets up and, mike in hand, leaves the stage calling all the members of the audience 'white trash'. At first, the world was shocked to see such an uncalled for display of violence, especially so soon after the Richards incident. But, late last night, TMZ talked to an Odessa police officer and it turns out that the whole 'incident' was nothing else than a skit, carefully orchestrated by the comedian and the alleged assailant. The police statement said that no one was hurt during the 'altercation' and that it was planned as a way to poke fun at the whole heckler-phenomenon. Nobody thought it would be taken and blown out of proportion to such a scale, he added. There's only one thing left to be said at this point: can you imagine how far some Z-list celebrities are willing to go just to see their names in the papers? In this case, touch� for Pauly Shore! CLICK HERE to see how it all went down.

Kirk Fox

KF was on Leno a few weeks ago and he killed. I think every comedian can learn from his style. He looks like he commands the room when he takes a moment to look at the audience. This is usually done in the intro. When I saw him at the Comedy Magic Club in Hermosa he ate up a good minute by just standing on stage nodding his head. By taking it super slow he eats up time and makes the audience comfortable. This guy is on his way to the show.

Booking

Now Booking Comedians for 2009

Santa Barbara, CA

New club opening for Saturday Night performances in Santa Barbara in 2009. Seeking talented performers for booking starting in mid-January. No

1 day ago from Talent6 - Get Qu

MERRY XMAS

MERRY XMAS COMEDIANS OF THE WORLD!

Ron Pearson

As a comedian Ron has made numerous late night appearances from The Late Late Show, to The Dennis Miller Show, and even Comedy Central. He also found time to do years of hosting television shows on The Family Channel and The Discovery Channel. Not bad for a kid who started his career as a child street performer. Ron has developed his brand of humor into a performance that captivates the tops of the Fortune 500 companies and garnered him a nomination for Comedian of the Year.  It’s a good thing he knows how to juggle, not only does he have all these talents, he has to keep his family of four afloat in Los Angeles. He has been married to his wife, Tanya, for eight years, which is almost a showbiz record. He also has two children, Reagan and Tex who actually need more attention than Ron does.

Jim Jefferies

Australian born Jim Jeffries is a headline performer in countries such as Canada, Asia, South Africa,
Europe and the UK. Regarded as one of the fastest rising stars in the comedy world, his brash confrontational style has made him one of the most sought after comics on the world stage. Jim gets away with jokes that most comedians wouldn’t touch due to his ability to both charm and offend the crowd through equal measures.

In 2005 Jim wowed audiences at The Montreal ’Just for Laughs’Festival where he was performing in the highly acclaimed ’Nasty Show’. Jim garnered one of the biggest press articles at the festival and was also moved above 2 of America’s cult comics as neither could follow his storming performances. In 2007 he was asked back to the festival this time to do a solo week, which sold out ever night.

In 2006 Jim made his return to the Edinburgh Festival with his solo show titled ..The Second Coming.. which not only received seven 4 star reviews and numerous other press articles about his show, it sold out the whole run and he also managed to wind up Christian Voice as well. Hoorah!

In 2007 Jims Edinburgh festival show 30 was one off the hottest shows off the festival now earning him
three 5 stars reviews and eleven 4 stars. the success of this show took jim touring in america were he even supported Dennis Leary!
Its not all about filth with Jim though, he is also in constant demand for numerous TV shows and you can catch Jim on ..Comedy Cuts.. ITV2 ..Heaven & Earth.. BBC1, If.ComEddies ..ITV2, ’Never Mind the Buzzcocks’ BBC2 , ’The History of Offensive Humour’ Channel 4 ..Comedy Blue.. Paramount, and even performing a clean set on ’The World Stands Up’ and ..Edinburgh and Beyond.. for the Paramount Comedy Channel.

Greg Giraldo

Greg Giraldo made a bad decision and the ECU community is not happy about it.
The comedian, who has appeared on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Last Call with Carson Daly, Late Show with David Letterman and Late Night with Conan O'Brien ventured to ECU for the Comedy Central Indecision 2008 tour on Aug. 18. The show served as a kick off to the ECU Weeks of Welcome, and was free to students and friends at Minges Coliseum.
However, some students and staff deemed the show, most notably Giraldo himself, offensive and vulgar. According to student accounts, Giraldo based his routine on making fun of the hearing impaired, along with asking the audience which animal he or she would like to have sex with. 
"Greg Giraldo, in my opinion, was incredibly vulgar and offensive," said Joy Fitzpatrick, who attended the show. 
Fitzpatrick added that Giraldo intentionally allowed his comedy act to make fun of those who required interpreters, using them as backup material through the entire show.
"I anticipate my opposing argument to say that college students are adult enough to think for themselves, and although they are, I am more concerned that this particular event was endorsed by such a great institution," Fitzpatrick said.
Kay Christian, the interim director of Student Activities and Involvement, says that the administration understands the concerns of offended students and apologizes for the incident.
"Every year our department brings a comedy act for students to enjoy during the Weeks of Welcome and anytime you have that, you can't necessarily control the comedian's material or what they say and do," said Christian. "We strive to provide a wide variety of entertainment to students, but sometimes there will be moments when some enjoy the show and others are offended."
"In the future, we will work hard to be sure we set our expectations with our entertainment acts beforehand. Without stifling free speech, we need to make sure they have appropriate material for the audience."
However, while some attendants of the events found the routine too vulgar, others enjoyed the show, including student Jason Wallace.
"I think that Mr. Giraldo did what a professional comic should do," said Wallace. "Any comedian can tell a series of jokes, but he has the skill and confidence to break the fourth wall and interact with the audience."
Wallace adds that although Giraldo might have offended those who attended, anyone who felt uncomfortable with the material of a show can always leave.
"If one chooses to stay, then one chooses to be a part of the entertainment, even when the entertainment might be them," he said.

This writer can be contacted at features@theeastcarolinian.com

Pat Buckles

Terrible comedian that annoys Jerry. Leeches on to him and goes to see Rochelle Rochelle with him at the movies. Wants Jerry to keep his wintercoat for him because he is running out of closet space. Doesn't like fish.

Jay Moore

COMING SOON TO A STAGE NEAR YOU?

NOV 13TH UNTIL NOV 21ST = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

NOV 27TH UNTIL DEC 4TH = CROWN PRINCESS

DEC 14TH UNTIL DEC 19TH = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

DEC 26TH UNTIL 28TH = COMEDY CABANA, MYRTLE BEACH SC

JAN 4TH UNTIL JAN 8TH = CROWN PRINCESS

JAN 14TH UNTIL JAN 22ND = CROWN PRINCESS

JAN 28TH UNTIL FEB 1ST = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

FEB 5TH UNTIL FEB 11TH = CROWN PRINCESS

FEB 19TH UNTIL FEB 25TH = CROWN PRINCESS

MAR 5TH UNTIL MAR 11TH CROWN PRINCESS

MAR 19TH UNTIL MAR 25TH = CROWN PRINCESS

APRIL 2ND UNTIL APRIL 8TH = CROWN PRINCESS

APRIL 16TH UNTIL APRIL 22ND = CROWN PRINCESS

APRIL 29TH UNTIL MAY 3RD = CARIBBEAN PRINCESS

YOUR PARTY!

John Caparulp

John Caparulo (born September 22, 1975 in East Liverpool, Ohio) graduated from Kent State University. He then started his stand-up career in the night clubs of Cleveland andPittsburgh in 1997. He spent several years working as a doorman at the Comedy Store in Hollywood and as a groundskeeper at a local golf course.

It wasn't until 2003 that he got his first break at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal, where he was offered a sitcom deal due to his sharp wit, unique delivery, and a passion for using curse words. He applied his blue collar work ethic to the stage, which he now enjoys doing full-time. He has appeared three times on The Tonight Show, a half-hour special on Comedy Central, was featured on Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Next Generation, and is one of the comedians on the Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Tour. He also hosts Mobile Home Disaster on CMT. Official site and reference: http://www.johncaparulo.com/

Eric Douglas

Eric Douglas, the youngest son of Kirk Douglas and half-brother to Michael Douglas, was found dead in his New York City apartment on Tuesday. An autopsy is planned to determine the cause of death. 

The body of the 46-year-old sometime actor and, more recently, aspiring stand-up comic, who often had brushes with the law, was discovered by a housekeeper who had come to clean the Manhattan apartment where he was staying, police tell Reuters. 

Authorities said there were no signs of foul play. The once-lithe Douglas, who sported Dad's jutting chin but was said to have ballooned to 300 lbs., was found lying on the floor next to a sofa in the living room of the one-bedroom apartment on East 29th Street, police said. 

The Douglas family was "very shocked and saddened" after learning of Eric's death, said Allen Burry, a family spokesman. "We hope you will respect their privacy at this time." Kirk Douglas, 87, is reportedly coming from California to New York for the funeral. 

Though he struggled to have an acting career (which was often stymied by his use of drugs and alcohol), Eric Douglas – the youngest of Kirk's four sons, with his second (and since 1954, current wife) Anne Buydens – received more attention for his run-ins with the law than for his work

Lisa Lampanelli

Lampanelli began her stand-up career in New York in the early 1990s.^[7] She made her break at the 2002 New York Friars' Club roast of Chevy Chase, and went on to participate in the roasts of Denis Leary, Pamela Anderson, Jeff Foxworthy, Flavor Flav, and William Shatner. Lampanelli released a comedy special on DVD entitled Take it Like A Man in 2005, appeared in the 2006 motion picture Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, and had a cameo appearance in the VH1 sitcomSo NoTORIous. She also landed a deal with Fox for a sitcom pilot with the tentative title Big Loud Lisa, which was considered a candidate for the network's 2006-07 television season.

Lampanelli is frequently on the dais for The Howard Stern Show roasts, including appearances at the roasts for Gary Dell'Abate, Artie Lange, Andy Dick, and KKK member Daniel Carver, Comedy Central'sRoasts of Denis Leary, Baywatch star Pamela Anderson, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav, and most recently A&E's "Gene Simmons Roast" in April of 2008.

Lampanelli taped her stand-up special Dirty Girl in the fall of 2006, which aired on Comedy Central on January 28, 2007. Her Dirty Girl CD and Dirty Girl .. No Protection DVD were released by Warner Bros./Jack Records on January 30, 2007.

She was also featured in the movie Delta Farce starring Larry the Cable Guy, Bill Engvall and D.J. Qualls, which was released early in 2007, and in Drillbit Taylor starring Owen Wilson.

Racial / ethnic humor is a large part of her comedy routine. In particular, she makes frequent references to her real-life relationships with black men.^[8] In an interview with AskMen.com, she explained:^[9]

"...my problem is, I can't get a good-looking white guy anymore, I just don't have the looks to get that. I can get hot blacks, but also blacks are now starting to get uppity and go for the skinny white ones and the Asians, which is very offensive to me that they don't stick with their roots — the chubby white girl!"

On November 21,2008, in Santa Rosa, CA, Lisa Lampanelli taped her first one-hour HBO Special at The Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. The special is due to be aired in early 2009.

Charlie Hill

Charlie Hill is a renowned stand-up comedian who has appeared on Letterman and Leno. Charlie was a staff writer for the Roseanne show and was featured on Moeshe. Charlie is the inspiration and talented leader of Club Red and the Club Red Players.

Mike Farrell

Mike Farrell is a traditional Yorkshire stand up comedian who can work to either all male or mixed audiences. No props, no gimmicks, just strong material and the professionalism to put it across. He is amongst the best comedians on the current after dinner circuit.

Mike is suited for sporting dinners where he has appeared over the years with many familiar faces, such as: Jimmy Greaves, Jack Charlton, Denis Law, Tommy Docherty, Freddie Trueman, Geoffrey Boycott, Barry McGuigan to name but a few

Mike's style and adaptability makes him suitable for Rotary and Round Table dinners where he can tailor his material to suit the audience.

He is very popular for golf day dinners for golf clubs and also corporate golf day dinners where many Organisations /Companies invite him back the following year.

yummy

Related Quotes

Symbol	Price	Change
BKC	20.53	+0.15
MCD	61.29	-1.34

Burger King Corp. may have just the thing. The home of the Whopper has launched a new men's body spray called "Flame." The company describes the spray as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

The fragrance is on sale at New York City retailer Ricky's NYC in stores and online for a limited time for $3.99.

Burger King is marketing the product through a Web site featuring a photo of its King character reclining fireside and naked but for an animal fur strategically placed to not offend.

The marketing ploy is the latest in a string of viral ad campaigns by the company. Burger King is also in the midst of its Whopper Virgins campaign that features an taste test with fast-food "virgins" pitting the Whopper against McDonald's Corp.'s Big Mac.

Burger King Holdings Inc. shares rose 15 cents to close at $20.53.

Earthquake

Earthquake (born Nathaniel Martin Stroman on May 29, 1963 in Washington, D.C.) is an American stand-up comedian and actor. He performed a half-hour HBO special as part of the series One Night Stand, which first aired on August 26, 2005. He also had a small role in Kevin Smith's film Clerks II, released in July 2006. He has a recurring role as Chris' Uncle Mike, on Everybody Hates Chris.

[edit]Military career

Earthquake was in the U.S Air Force for eleven years. He refused to be a combatant in the Gulf War and was honorably discharged as a conscientious objector. He had attained the rank of Sergeant but was demoted to Airman First Class before his discharge.^[1]

Earthquake revealed on The Howard Stern Show that while he was in the U.S. Air Force, he once dropped a live nuclear missile when he was loading it into an aircraft. According to Earthquake, the incident caused much panic and was classified as a Broken Arrow, a situation that alerts a large portion of the military, including the President of the United States. He claimed he was rushing to attend a 2 Live Crew concert.^[2]

[edit]References

not what you want to hear

A British passenger plane was forced to turn back minutes before landing in Paris because the pilot of 30 years' experience was not qualified to land in fog, an airline confirmed on Thursday. Speaking over the address system as the Flybe flight approached Charles de Gaulle airport, the pilot announced to startled passengers "I am not qualified to land the plane" and turned back to Cardiff. A spokeswoman for the low-cost airline said the pilot was "an experienced aviator with more than 30 years commercial aviation experience flying a number of different passenger aircraft types." "He has relatively recently transferred his 'type-rating' from a Bombardier Q300 to a Bombardier Q400 and has not yet completed the requisite low-visibility training to complete a landing in conditions such as the dense fog experienced in Paris Charles de Gaulle," she said. "The captain therefore quite correctly turned the aircraft around and returned to Cardiff; a decision which the company stands by 100 percent." One passenger, 29-year-old Cassandra Grant, said she had missed a job interview in the French capital as a result. She told the South Wales Echo newspaper: "Twenty minutes outside Paris, the captain said, 'Unfortunately I'm not qualified to land the plane in Paris. They are asking for a level two qualification and I only have a level five. We'll have to fly back. "The whole thing beggars belief. If I had not been on the plane, I would not have believed it." The Civil Aviation Authority described the incident as "quite unusual but probably not unheard of. "I guess he thought when he initially took off that conditions would be suitable for him to land," a spokesman said. "There are different classifications of aircraft and when an aircraft is updated, pilots who have flown an older version have to completely retrain. "Different climatic conditions like fog require a certain level of skill and he probably didn't have the level of training required for this particular aircraft."

Jay Leno

Jay Leno’s lies, Jay Leno’s damn lies, and statistics

Posted on 16 December 2008 by Robert Seidman

Jay Leno says people are going to bed earlier these days. Jay Leno says 10pm is the new 11:30.

Jay Leno is full of crap.

I’m not really irked by it. Complete crap taken as fact by mainstream media? Oh please, I’m way too beaten down by years of that to get worked up about it, but since one of our readers beat me over the head with some data, I figured I might as well debunk Mr. Leno.

I seriously doubt Jay Leno intended to be deceitful even if it was good PR for being on at 10pm. I’m sure Mr. Leno believes what he said is true. But it isn’t. Leno is wrong when he says that people are going to bed earlier and that 10pm is the new 11:30pm, at least according to the Nielsen data.

Of course it is absolutely true that more people are watching TV at 10pm than 11:30pm. But that’s not anything new. People actually do go to sleep. But are they going to sleep earlier?

The Nielsen data when it comes to television viewing doesn’t indicate that people are going to bed earlier. In fact, it indicates that people are generally going to bed at the same time they always did, and if anything are staying up a little bit later now!

What it does show is a decreasing trend of viewership between 10pm-11pm (not great news for Leno’s new timeslot), and increasing viewership between 11:30pm-12:30am. That holds true both as a one year trend and a five year trend.

According to Nielsen data, 6% fewer 18-49 year olds are watching TV between 10pm-11pm than were watching 5 years ago. 4% fewer 18-34 year olds are watching between 10pm-11pm than five years ago. If you want a broader view, looking at 25-54 year olds, viewing between 10pm-11pm is down 7% over the last five years.

Meanwhile, the trend is UP for viewing between 11:30pm-12:30am over the last five years among 18-49 year olds (1% increase) and 18-34 year olds (5% increase) and is completely flat among the broader 25-54 demographic.

The actual data simply does not back Mr. Leno up.

All data above is based on LIVE viewing only, but since the discussion was about whether people were going to bed earlier, bringing DVR viewing habits into the mix didn’t make much sense.

Comedy

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Canoga Park Bowl
20122 Vanowen st.


Canoga Park, CA 91306
(located at the corner of Winnetka and Vanowen)

NO COVER
NO DRINK MIN
21 AND UP WITH ID!!!!!


Monday Dec.

15th
8:30
(MC) Jay Cramer (15)
8:45 Mark White (10)
8:56 Tricia Shore (8)
9:04 Jillian Bennett (8)
9:13 Mel Khol (10)
9:25 Kevin Rudy (8)
9:35 John Mader ***NEW MC*** (10)
9:47 Rebekah Kochan (12)
9:59 Dante (20)
10:19 Risky Betts (12)
10:32 Shannon McDonald (10)
10:42 Johnnie walker (12)
10:54 Ken Pringle (12)
11:06 Nick Hoff (8)
11:15 Mike Muratore (15)
11:30 Jason Hadley (12)

Tuesday Dec.

16th
8:30
(MC) Kamaka Brown (15)
8:45 Tricia Shore (8)
8:53 Susan Brennan (8)
9:01 Mel Khol (8)
9:09 Jillian Bennett (8)
9:17 Jay Cramer (15)
9:32 Felicia Michaels (15)
9:47 Risky Betts (12)
10:00 Jason Hadley (12)
10:15 Willie Bingo (12)
10:28 Ken Pringle (12)
10:40 Les Kurkendaal (8)
10:49 John Mader (10)
11:00 Mark White (8)
11:08 Kevin Rudy (8)

Dobie Maxwell

Luck. Fate. Fortune. Kismet. Destiny. That which happens to a person. Everyone has some kind of luck. There's good luck, bad luck, beginner's luck, dumb luck, and there is Dobie Maxwell in a class all by himself. Things just happen to Dobie. All kinds of "things". If a baseball goes over the stadium and a car window breaks, nobody has to ask "Who owns that car?" If a single hotel room is robbed in a large hotel, guess whose room it was? If it rains only one week a year in San Diego, guess who is booked there that week? Dobie Maxwell truly is "Mr. Lucky" -- and it is HILARIOUS.

Unbelievable "things" have happened to Dobie since his birth in Milwaukee, WI -- the home of Harley Davidson motorcycles. "What good has ever come out of Milwaukee?" he asks. "Its cold, full of beer swillers and there hasn't been a Miss America from there. I was at a disadvantage from the start." And it doesn't stop there. Dobie's father rode with a motorcycle gang and his mother left the family when he was five months old. He was raised by his paternal grandparents. His grandfather nicknamed him "Mr. Lucky".

Nobody has the timing of Dobie Maxwell. He always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's very funny...if you're not him. He sums it up best: "When I was nine I went to see the Harlem Globetrotters. They lost." One situation after another make for big laughs. 

Never at a loss for words, Dobie Maxwell packs a wallop in his comedy show. He speaks in gusts, prowls the stage, and combines emotions and opinions to his amazing stories. Many fans come to see him over and over again because with many experiences he never does exactly the same show twice.

Dobie Maxwell, a.k.a. "Mr. Lucky" has been touring North America as a professional standup comedian since 1985. During that time, he has appeared in all 48 lower continental United States and all across Canada in comedy clubs, colleges and concert halls. He has also done many other things of interest and had he been able to focus on one thing for all these years he wouldn't be "almost" famous. His sidetracking is the source for some great stories.

He has performed with Drew Carey, SNL's Dana Carvey, Jeff Foxworthy, Rosie O'Donnell, Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno and many others. He has developed over the years into a strong and seasoned live performer who now headlines his own shows. His energy on stage and ability to vanquish hecklers are legendary. He has long been a "comic's comic", but he has finally realized that it's CUSTOMERS that pay cash for tickets, not other comics.

He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show, Entertainment Tonight and even hosted his own show for two years in his hometown of Milwaukee. He has spent time as a morning radio host, co-host and regular guest on stations in Chicago, Reno, Milwaukee, Lansing, Tucson, Salt Lake City and been a featured guest on radio stations and in printed publications worldwide.

Dobie currently teaches comedy classes at Zanies Comedy Clubs in Chicago and has a six cassette audio course with a 56 page book called "Be Funny Make Money". He has taught the live classes and one day comedy seminars nationwide, from Laffs Comedy Club in Tucson to Uncle Funny's Comedy Club in Miami.

He has also taught one day seminars at Marquette University and several corporate sales meetings across North America. He has also taught at and been asked to return to the prestigious Round Table Convention in Hollywood in which comedy writers from all over North America gather to learn all facets of the comedy business. That convention was started by Gene Perret, who was Bob Hope's head writer for many years and a writer and producer for The Carol Burnett Show and many other successful projects.

Jimmy Shubert

Birth Name

James Francis Shubert 

Trivia

As a stand-up comic, he served as an opening act for comic legend Sam Kinison.

He attended the Philadelphia High School for Creative and Performing Arts, majoring in Drama.

By the age of 15, he had become an accomplished professional magician.

The Go audition couldn't have come at a more deflating time. He read for Liman the same week he had attended the funeral of his 12-year-old cousin in Philadelphia. While in Philly, he also learned that the proposed sitcom Postal, in which he was to play a Long Island postal worker, wasn't being picked up for the 1998 pilot season. With a certain fatalism hanging over his life and career, Jimmy read for Go by relying more on a devil-be-dammed instinct than any acting technique.

BOB ZMUDA

Bob Zmuda (born December 12, 1949) is an American writer, comedian, producer and director best known as the sidekick, co-writer and friend of cult personality Andy Kaufman.

Bob Zmuda occasionally portrayed Kaufman's Tony Clifton character on stage and for television appearances (Zmuda has not confirmed the rumor that it was he and not Kaufman who appeared as Clifton on Late Night with David Letterman).

In 1986, Zmuda founded the American version of Comic Relief, an annual event that raises money to help the homeless in the United States. The event was televised on HBO, and was hosted bycomedians Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg.

In 1999, Zmuda wrote a book about Kaufman's life, entitled Andy Kaufman Revealed!, which purported to unveil many tricks and hoaxes that the two pulled off in front of audiences and television cameras in the 1980s. The book has been criticized by some of Kaufman's fans, as well as Kaufman's family, for inaccuracies which cast doubt on some of Zmuda's anecdotal claims.

Later that year, Miloš Forman directed Man on the Moon, the story of Kaufman's life. Zmuda created the "Tony Clifton" makeup for the film, and also made a brief appearance, portraying comedian Jack Burns, one of the producers, who gets into a brawl on stage during one of Kaufman's appearances on the 1980-82 ABC Saturday Night Live-like show, Fridays. Zmuda was also Man on the Moon's co-executive producer. On camera, the character of Bob Zmuda was played by Paul Giamatti. Stanley Kaufman, Andy's father, criticized Zmuda's influence on the film shortly after its release, writing in the form of Andy speaking from beyond the grave.[1]

Bob Marley

Celebrating 15 years as a stand-up comic, Bob Marley is one of the hottest and most sought-after comedians in the country. He has been featured in his own special onComedy Central, and is one of the few comics to do the complete late- night TV circuit: “The Late Show” with David Letterman, “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno, “Late Night” with Conan O’Brien and “The Late Late Show” with Craig Ferguson and Craig Kilborn.

Marley, a Maine native and University of Maine at Farmington graduate, uses biographical and observational material for his high-energy routines. He began his career in his hometown of Portland, and then moved to Boston to gain experience in a city known for spawning comedy all-stars.

A regular at the Aspen and Montreal comedy festivals, Marley was named one of Variety’s “10 Comics to Watch,” Marley has also appeared in several films, including the cult favorite, “Boondock Saints.” The peripatetic Marley works nonstop throughout the country, in such cities as Los Angles, Las Vegas, Washington, D.C., Boston, New York and Denver.

After living in Los Angles for several years, he, his wife and three children have returned to Maine to live.

ANT

Anthony Steven Kalloniatis (born August 23, 1967^[1]), now known professionally and legally as Ant^[2], is a Greek-American stand-up comedian and actor.^[3]Ant prefers his name spelled in all capital letters.^[4]

A native of Londonderry, New Hampshire, Ant performed at comedy clubs across the nation. For four years starting in 1995, he was a semi regular cast member on the WB series Unhappily Ever After.

With the end of that show and looking for ways to supplement his income, Ant recruited several men to become internet models. His involvement in the voyeur cam business is documented in the 2001 film WebCam Boys, which he also co-produced.^[5]

Ant appeared as a contestant on Last Comic Standing, and has appeared in four of that show's five seasons. That same year, he released a comedy album on Comedy Central Records, Follow My Ass. In 2005, he released the comedy DVD, "ANT: America's Ready."

He is the host of VH1 reality series Celebrity Fit Club and was a regular judge of talent on Steve Harvey's Big Time. His television series, U.S. of ANT, premiered on MTV Network's gay-targeted Logo cable channel in the summer of 2006. Ant also frequently appears as a commentator on such shows as VH1's Best Week Ever and CNBC's Dennis Miller, and is a regular guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as well as "The Howard Stern Show".

In 2007, he appeared along with Snoop Dogg as a guest star on MTV's sketch comedy show Short Circuitz.

ANT also appeared as a regular celebrity guest on the game show, "To Tell The Truth," alongside Jacke Harry, Meshack Taylor and John O'Hurley.

In 2008 he was a contestant on VH1's reality competition Celebracadabra, where celebrities trained with established magicians, and competed in an elimination-format contest. Ant was eliminated in episode 2 and brought back in episode 4, but did not go on to win.

He was a talent judge in NBC's 5th season of Last Comic Standing, along with Kathleen Madigan and Alonzo Bodden.

On 30 September 2008 it was reported that Ant is suing British presenters Ant & Dec for using his name in the U.S. The suit, among other things, alleges trademark infringement and fraud. The case is still pending in the District Court of Boston.^[6].

On November 18, 2008, Ant's longtime life partner, Richard P. Scofield, passed away in his arms.^[7] Responding to the moving outcries of support from his fans, Ant held on online memorial service for Richard and the netizens who knew him from his online life. November 23, 2008, many believe was the date of the web's first online memorial service for a same sex couple. ^[8]

Ant is an avid poker player and is also one of the regular "famous faces"^[9], and player an the online poker website Hollywood Poker -- run in conjunction with Ongame Network.

[edit]References

Jim Edwards

Ok, so you want to talk about Jim Edwards? 

Jim is a well respected Los Angeles comedian. He has an extensive and multi-talented background in comedy and broadcasting spanning a number of years. 

He started his broadcasting career at the Indiana University radio and television department as a freshman. Following college, he produced David Letterman's radio talk show. He then went on to do news and sports on radio and then became a Television sports reporter and sports anchor. 

Jim's stand-up comedy career began in San Francisco and continues to flourish as a very funny and popular comedian in Los Angeles. 

He is a very active guy and enjoys various activities like golf, basketball and martial arts. He also enjoys hanging around the house with his yellow Labrador dog, Big AL. 

For information on bookings for corporate, stand-up, acting and voice overs, please contact Jim's representative.

Robert Klein

Early life

Klein was born in the Bronx, the son of Frieda (née Moskowitz) and Benjamin Klein^[4][5] and was raised in a "prototypical 1950s Bronx Jewish" environment.^[6]After graduating from De Witt Clinton high school, Klein planned to study medicine. However, he changed his mind during his studies in university. After graduating from Alfred University, he studied at Yale Drama School^[7] when he got wind of an opportunity to audition for The Second City. In a piece he wrote for the improvisational troupe's book, Klein recalled sitting in a room full of other hopefuls including Fred Willard. Klein's audition consisted of an improvisationset with Willard about two guys in a nightclub, which was successful enough to get Klein and Willard hired to join The Second City. Klein had said another young man, Billy Dee Williams, was invited to join the troupe but turned it down.

[edit]

Ray Romano

His early comedy career included many outlets such as Comedy Central, where he had been a recurring guest voice on the show Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist. He also was a contestant on Star Search in the stand-up comedy category. He was originally cast to play "Joe" on the American television sitcomNewsRadio, but was fired, to be replaced by Joe Rogan. Shortly thereafter, he became the star of his own show, Everybody Loves Raymond, that featured a cast and format more suitable to Romano's brand of humor.

Romano and his comedian friend Kevin James starred in the salesman comedy Grilled, as two guys of the same profession who are both very desperate to land a big sale. Romano was featured on a 2000 episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, on which he won US$125,000 for the NYPD's D.A.R.E. Unit. His older brother, Richard Romano (born in 1956) is a sergeant with the NYPD. He also has a younger brother, Robert Romano (born 1965).

In 2001, Romano was named one of E!'s top twenty entertainers of the year. In the same year, he was featured with his brother (a teacher at a school in Long Island) on a New York Police Department recruiting poster. In 2004, he became the highest paid television actor in history for his role of Raymond on CBS'sEverybody Loves Raymond. It was later revealed on E! that he had broken another record by his show having the highest revenue, at US$3.9 billion.

On December 13, 2003, Romano was featured as a special guest star, sending a birthday card to Bob Barker in his eightieth-birthday bash on the seventh "Million Dollar Spectacular" special of the long-running daytime CBS series The Price Is Right.

Romano was the subject of the documentary film 95 MILES TO GO. The film documents Romano's road-trip for a series of gigs across the South. The film was released in theaters on April 7, 2006 by ThinkFILM.^[4] In August 2006, Romano was interviewed in front of a live audience at UCLA by fellow stand-up veteran,David Steinberg, for an episode of Sit Down Comedy with David Steinberg. The program first aired on the TV Land network in March 2007.

THE COMEDIAN

NCC Timmy and I watched the Comedian on DVD over some orange chicken from panda. I think they put something in that chicken bc it's like crack. The Comedian has an all star cast but is basically Sienfeld trying to get back on stage and Orny Adams circa 2002 being very jealous. I would rent this DVD again. It's good for anyone wanting to get into comedy.

bangCock Jail

"Not Tonight, Honey" Bust

Louisiana man gets fat lip for refusing to have sex with girlfriend

DECEMBER 10--Meet Brittany Phillips. Early Saturday morning, the 19-year-old Louisiana woman wanted some sex from her boyfriend. But Todd Stewart, 35, was apparently not in the mood. In fact, he tried to push Phillips off of him in the bedroom of the pair's West Monroe home. That much the couple can agree upon, according to Ouachita Parish Sheriff's Office reports. Phillips claims Stewart became violent after rebuffing her advances. Stewart told an investigator that he left the bedroom to sleep on a living room couch, but that Phillips "would not leave him alone." At some point, he added, things got physical and he was stabbed in the lower lip with "a long metal object which appeared to be a knife." For her part, the frisky Phillips acknowledged to Deputy Shane Smith that she struck Stewart, but said it was done "to protect herself." Phillips, pictured in the below mug shot, was charged with aggravated battery, while a bloody Stewart, seen here, was charged with simple battery. Phillips was also booked on a pair of outstanding warrants, for simple battery and damage to property. (4 pages)

Seth Mac farlane

Seth Woodbury MacFarlane (born October 26, 1973) is an Emmy award-winning American comedian, animator, screenwriter, producer, actor, voice actor andcomposer. MacFarlane is best known as the creator and executive producer of Fox Broadcasting Company's animated series Family Guy and American Dad!. He was executive producer of the short-lived television series The Winner. MacFarlane's series are produced through his company, Fuzzy Door Productions.^[1]

MacFarlane voices several characters from his cartoon programs Family Guy and American Dad!. He also voices The English Yokel from The Cleveland Show.^[2] As an actor, he has made guest appearances on shows such as Gilmore Girls and The War at Home. MacFarlane's interest in science fiction andfantasy has led to cameo and guest appearances on Star Trek: Enterprise and voicing the character of Johann Krauss in Guillermo del Toro's Hellboy II: The Golden Army, as well as making a guest appearance in the film Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder. His cartoon shows are known for spoof references toStar Wars and Star Trek. He recently made his own YouTube channel called Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy.

He occasionally speaks at universities and colleges throughout the United States. A recent deal signed with The Fox Broadcasting Company has made MacFarlane the highest-paid television writer and producer in history. He resides in Los Angeles, California where he recently purchased a $13.5 million home and is reportedly being paid $100 million by 20th Century Fox TV for his most recent contract with them.^[3]

IKEA

Current Article

Comedian moves into NJ Ikea store

By nobugsonme on Jan 9, 2008 in bed bugs, cockroaches, comedian, get rid of cockroaches, ikea, strange news

This ABC7 news article says comedian Mark Malkoff has moved into a Paramus, NJ Ikea store when his Queens, NY home was evacuated for “fumigation:”

When Mark Malkoff thought about where he could stay while his New York City apartment was being fumigated for cockroaches, he quickly ruled out friends’ places (too small) and hotels (too expensive).

Instead, the comedian and filmmaker decided to move into an Ikea store in suburban New Jersey, where on Monday he unloaded two suitcases into a spacious bedroom at the store.

His wife went to stay with relatives.

So this is a question for all the PCOs out there. Do apartments get evacuated so that you can treat for cockroaches?!?

I must have bed bugs on the brain, but when I hear someone from Queens is being “fumigated,” I assume they mean pest control treatment, not fumigation per se, and I also wonder if it’s not our smaller, rust-colored friends.

Carrot Top

Biography

Thompson was born and raised in Cocoa, Florida where his father, Lawrence Thompson, was a scientist at NASA during the Gemini and Apollo era.^[1] In 1983, he graduated from Cocoa High School, and while still a freshman at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton, Thompson appeared in his first stand-up comedy routine.^[2][1] Two months later, he performed on campus in an open-mic night.

[edit]Career

Carrot Top has appeared in the television programs: Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular , Gene Simmons Family Jewels, Criss Angel Mindfreak(2006), and Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly (2005). He has also appeared on The George Lopez Show, Howard Stern, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson, and Live with Regis & Kelly. His movie roles include the 1998 film Chairman of The Board, and served as a spokesman in commercials for 1-800-CALL-ATT. From 1995 to 1999, he was thecontinuity announcer for Cartoon Network. In 2002, he recorded a commentary track for the Roger Avary film The Rules of Attraction. In 2006, Carrot Top appeared in the Reno 911! episode "Weigel's Pregnant" as an enraged version of himself who trashed his hotel room and resisted arrest. In 2008, he was a guest judge for NBC's Last Comic Standing in a contest where the participants had to performprop comedy at a Bed, Bath and Beyond utilizing store items with only an hour to prepare.

Carrot Top produced and starred in an early morning show on Cartoon Network called Carrot Top's AM Mayhem from 1994-1996.^[3][4]

Carrot Top has also been frequently parodied. Such examples include Mr. Show (in which David Cross appears as "Blueberry Head"), King of the Hill ("Celery Head"), Family Guy ("Carrot Scalp"), MADtv("Broccoli Top"), and several Achewood comic strips.^[5]

As of 2008 he headlines at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas, and performs various comedy gigs when his show is not playing.^[6] His comedy routine incorporates dozens of props stored in large trunks on stage; his prop jokes commonly consist simply of him pulling out a prop, describing it in a one-liner, and tossing it away. Many of his props are specially built objects.

rosie

NBC's Rosie O’Donnell variety show disappoints

Rosie O'Donnell gave NBC a real turkey.

The network's attempt to revive the primetime variety show failed to draw an audience Wednesday night, tying for the evening's lowest-rated program.

A mere 5 million viewers tuned in for the 8 p.m. premiere of "Rosie Live," with the program earning a 1.2 preliminary adults 18-49 rating. The telecast matched ABC's recently canceled "Pushing Daisies" as the night's lowest-rated program on a major broadcast network.

NBC had high hopes for the special and planned to expand the program into a series should viewers re-embrace the decades-old variety format. Other networks, too, were watching closely since several are developing variety shows of their own.

"There's a notion that the climate is right for the genre to make a comeback," emailed one executive at a rival network. "I guess we now know what not to do, thanks to Rosie."

Segments included Kathy Griffin impersonating Nancy Grace, Alec Baldwin hitting Conan O'Brian with a pie, O'Donnell singing "City Lights" with Liza Minnelli and Jane Krakowski doing a product-placement-themed striptease for White Castle burgers and Crest Whitestrips.

Critics were not kind. The NY Times described it as "hokey comedy with an enemies list." TV Guide called it a "ghastly ego trip." And the LA Times asked, "Rosie, what on earth were you thinking?"

Networks have been looking for variety show programming as a cheap option to fill their schedules. But the idea has been sought by executives due the format's rock-bottom cost, cross-promotion possibilities and advertiser-friendly format. In other words, the neo-variety show is a retread designed to solve financial woes rather than an act of programming inspiration -- a bean-counting origin story that makes it tough to imagine an exciting final product.

NBC's variation, in particular, seemed unlikely to attract a broad audience given O'Donnell's divisive personality. Stocked with appearances by Alannis Morrisette, Ne Yo, Rachael Ray, Harry Connick Jr., Clay Aiken and Gloria Estefan, along with Minnelli, Baldwin, Griffin and Krakowski, the lineup's appeal also skewed heavily female for a primetime show airing on the eve of a family holiday.

One special that did perform well last night was Barbara Walters' interview with Barack and Michelle Obama (11.6 million, 3.0 rating). The interview nearly matched "CSI: NY" in the 10 p.m. hour and gave ABC its highest non-awards show rating in the time period in more than a year.

Rip Taylor

Rip Taylor was born Charles Elmer Taylor in Washington, D. C. on January 13, 1934. As a young man he entered show business as a stand-up comedian, diligently playing second- and third-rate burlesque theaters and nightclubs. His original stand-up persona did not include the trademark moustache, toupee, and loud suit. Instead he appeared clean-shaven in an ordinary business suit. His early years followed the conventional path of a stand-up comic: nightclub tours and TV appearances, with a strictly verbal monologue: just jokes, no special material or props. (Sample joke: "[Tonight's emcee] is a very honest man. He worked in a bath house for two years, and never once took a bath.") Rip soon realized that he needed a gimmick, something that would distinguish him from the other stand-ups. He hit upon an everything-happens-to-me routine, where he would recount all the terrible things that bothered him, and deliver each punchline with a sobbing wail. A typical appearance was on the Jackie Gleasonshow: Rip walked on-camera with prop crutches, moaning about the bad drivers he just encountered. Soon Rip Taylor was being billed as "The Crying Comedian." During this period he appeared, as himself, as one of the eligible bachelors on The Dating Game -- punctuating his answers with sobs.

A much more successful gimmick started quite by accident in 1969 at Merv Griffin's show. Rip tore up a script on stage and threw the pieces in a fit of pique. The outburst got a huge audience reaction, prompting the comedian to assault the crowd with confetti at every performance; to wit, when he made his entrance on any given show he would randomly toss handfuls of confetti at audience members from a huge sack before ultimately slinging the entire contents of the sack at the audience- or whoever happened to be nearby. When asked how much confetti he used, he once jested in an interview that "three nuns are tearing it for me 24 hours a day."

[edit]

Jimmy Shubert

NCC Timmy went to JR's Comedy Club in Valencia. Timmy said it was cool for being at a Marie Calendar's. He liked the parking and good service and he saw Jimmy Shubert who Timmy loves but not in a creepy way. Jr's had a little stage but put on a big show.

Steve Carell

Mini Biography

Steve Carell, one of American comedy's most popular faces who edited a school newspaper as a child, is now celebrated as the funniest man on the cover of Life Magazine and on NBC's SNL, where he hosted the 2005-2006 season premiere. He became an unusually versatile comic after more than two decades of improv skits and bit parts, and received the 2006 Golden Globe Award for Best Actor in Television Comedy for the leading role of Michael Scott in his remake of Britain's existential comedy "The Office" (2005).

He was born Steven John Carell on August 16, 1962, into an Italian-American family in Concord, Massachusetts, USA. He was educated at The Fenn School, an all boys private school in Concord, Massachusetts, then at Middlesex School in Concord. He studied and graduated from Denison University in Granville, Ohio, then took acting at Chicago's Second City troupe. Carell made his film debut in 1991, as Tesio in Curly Sue (1991). From 1990-1996 he taught improvisational comedy class and also performed with The Second City troupe in Chicago. During the 1990s he was writing for The Dana Carvey Show, then he had a stint as one of correspondents on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Carell shot to fame after his breakout performances as Evan Baxter opposite Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty (2003) and as Uncle Arthur opposite Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell in Bewitched (2005). He co-wrote the original screenplay for the summer box-office hit The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005) which was chosen as one of the Top Ten movies of 2006 by the American Film Institute. At the same time he appeared in Little Miss Sunshine (2006), an independent dark comedy that gives an unusually sharp and sarcastic view on America. In 2007 Carell reprized his role as Evan Baxer, filling Jim Carrey's leading-man shoes as a politician asked by God to build a giant ark in Evan Almighty (2007), the second installment of the "Almighty" franchise, co-starring Lauren Graham and Morgan Freeman. In 2008 he re-united with Jim Carrey in highly successful animation hit Horton Hears a Who! (2008), then appeared as Agent Maxwell Smart in popular comedy Get Smart (2008).

Steve Carell has been enjoying a happy family life with his wife, actress Nancy Walls, whom he met when she was a student in an improv class he was teaching at The Second City comedy troupe in Chicago. The couple have two children, daughter Elisabeth (born in May 2001), and son John (born in June 2004). Steve Carell is living with his family in Los Angeles, California

George Wallace

Early life

Wallace was born in Atlanta, Georgia to Mary Lou and George Wallace, Sr. He grew up in a loving, religious family. He was educated at Lynwood Park Elementary School and Lynwood Park High School. Since his early teenage years, Wallace dreamed of becoming a comedian. Wallace's mother died when he was sixteen, prompting him to move to Ohio where he found a job with Firestone Tire. As part of the company's tuition reimbursement program, George enrolled in the University of Akron, where he studied transportation, marketing and advertising. Upon graduation, Wallace moved to New York City in pursuit of his childhood dream. At first, success in comedy proved elusive and Wallace worked as a salesman for an advertising agency to pay the bills.

[edit]Career highlights

Wallace's break came when one of his clients opened a comedy club. The club owner was amused by Wallace's natural humor and friendly demeanor and offered him the chance to perform standup comedy. In 1977, Wallace walked on stage for the first time, wearing a preacher's robe and calling himself the Reverend Dr. George Wallace. His routine was completely improvised, yet it included the same imagery and delivery of the spiritual leaders who had influenced him as a child. Wallace was a hit. He stayed in New York for several years, perfecting his craft and living with friend and fellow comedian Jerry Seinfeld.

In 1978, Wallace moved to the West Coast, where he quickly became recognized as a talented young comedian. After one of his performances, producers from The Redd Foxx Show asked him to write for the popular series. However, after only one year of writing, Wallace returned to the stage. He became a regular at the famous Comedy Store, which also featured such artists as Richard Pryor, Rodney Dangerfield, Roseanne Barr, Jay Leno and Robin Williams. Wallace also took his comedy show on the road, opening for George Benson, Diana Ross, Donna Summer and Smokey Robinson, among others.

Wallace, who was named the Best Male Standup Comedian during the 1995 American Comedy Awards, says that his routines are inspired by everyday moments of life. His unique brand of social commentary proved popular with radio audiences as well. Wallace was a regular on The Tom Joyner Morning Show before joining the legendary Isaac Hayes on a popular radio program on WRKS, New York. He also starred in his own HBO special and appeared on many television shows, such as The Tonight Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show and Late Night with David Letterman. His motion picture credits include Batman Forever, A Rage in Harlem, Punchline, Things are Tough All Over and Postcards from the Edge.

Among his more memorable jokes was the suggestion that African-Americans should not have to pay Social Security because their average lifespan was only 65 anyway. His best-known bit is People Say Stupid Things, in which he points out the folly of many popularly used phrases. For example, in response to the term untimely death, he asks "When is a GOOD time to die?" He's then followed this question with, "I wanna hear something on the news like, 'Senator Jesse Helms died today, and it's about doggone time!!!'" Wallace also pokes fun at himself for having the same name as a famous segregationist.

Currently, Wallace has a running show at The Flamingo Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. Additionally, he calls the Flamingo home and regularly spends time walking the hotel casino floor mingling with hotel guests.^[2]

moms

W.Va. mom accused of burning 'wimp' into child

5 hours ago

MOUNDSVILLE, W.Va. (AP) — A West Virginia mother faces charges after being accused of burning the word "wimp" into her 6-year-old daughter's neck.

Tammy Smith is charged with five counts of child abuse and of malicious assault, all felonies.

Moundsville Police Chief Jim Kudlak said Saturday that the child told police that her mother used a cigarette to burn her. Smith's daughter told authorities that her mother burned her because she was angered that the girl tripped and fell.

An employee at the child's school noticed the burns and police were called Wednesday. The girl is in foster care.

The 43-year-old Smith is being held in jail on $50,000 bond. Kudlak says he doesn't think she has an attorney yet.

Moundsville is in northern West Virginia.

green light

Girl, 10, Drafted School Hit List

"Killing spree" note named 25 students, teachers at Wisconsin school

NOVEMBER 20--A 10-year-old Wisconsin girl drafted a hit list containing the names of 21 classmates and four teachers who would be targeted "when I go on my killing spree." Thehandwritten list was confiscated Monday afternoon by a teacher in a McKinley Middle School classroom, according a Kenosha Police Department report, a copy of which you'll find below. At the top of the one-page list the sixth grader wrote, "When I go on my killing spree the victims are..." Asecond list contained the names of four students--including the girl herself--who were "people I don't want 2 kill." When interviewed by cops, the student denied she wanted to hurt anyone, claiming she drafted the list "because she was angry with some other students who accused her of spreading rumors." The girl said she was angry with teachers on the list "because they ignore her when she raises her hand in class." The teacher who seized the note told cops that she "feared for my safety after reading the list," and thought it was "possible for [the student] to hurt me and the other people on the list." A Kenosha detective has forwarded the girl's case to juvenile justice officials with the recommendation that she be charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct. The child, who has not had prior disciplinary problems, was suspended from school pending an administrative review of the November 17 incident. However, the school's principal told police that she was not recommending that the child be expelled. (5 pages)

Katt Williams

Comedian arrested for guns
07/11/2008 19:33  - (SA)  

Want to know more? Answerit can help.

New York - Comedian Katt Williams has been arrested on weapons charges in midtown Manhattan after police say they pulled him over for driving a car without licence plates.

The 35-year-old performer was released on bail on Thursday in time to make it for his show at Carnegie Hall. He told the audience that he "just got out of jail".

Police say a handgun was found in Williams' car after he was stopped for the alleged traffic violation.

His attorney, Charles Ross, did not immediately return a call requesting comment early on Friday.

Williams is best known for his role in the movie Friday After Next and for his appearances in rap videos. He also voices A Pimp Named Slickback in The Boondocks animated television series.

- AP

book

It's the latest lawsuit over the book, "Hot Chicks with Douchebags." Michael Minelli says the author, as well as Simon and Schuster, took photos of him without permission and characterized him as a "douchebag."

Minelli, who wants more than $10,000, says he "continues to be called a Douchebag by friends, acquaintances, coworkers, employers, and strangers alike."

Minelli says a Douchebag is "a feminine hygiene device." Our search of the Urban Dictionary reveals 89 definitions, including...

-- Anyone who does the following: puts a ballcap on and makes sure it's crooked ... wears Puka shells ... puts collar up. 

-- Someone who has achieved the highest level of being an a-hole.

-- Another definition is simply ... Kevin Federline.

Will truth be a defense? Stay t

Bruno

NEW YORK (AP) - Even a make-believe psychic couldn't spot the scam when an actor disrupted a scene for "Medium" involving Patricia Arquette, who stars as psychic Allison DuBois in the NBC drama.

After the unruly extra was ejected by security, the truth became clear: He was chameleonic comic prankster Sacha Baron Cohen in his identity as outrageous fashion reporter Bruno.

It was unclear how Cohen gained entry to the set, and whether he was secretly filming his performance for his own use, according to Entertainment Weekly, which first reported the incident. But prior to the Nov. 7 invasion in Los Angeles, Cohen had been shooting other "crash" footage for his new film, a followup to his comedy hit "Borat."

BangCock Jail

Con-jugal Visits

Cops: Indiana inmates crawled through ceilings for sexual trysts

NOVEMBER 17--Undaunted by a concrete wall separating their respective cellblocks, male and female inmates took advantage of a design flaw in an Indiana jail to engage in late-night sexual trysts. The Greene County inmates--three men and three women--pried open metal security tiles in the ceiling of their respective dormitory-style housing units to gain access to the adjoining cellblock, according to a probable cause affidavit filed in Circuit Court. A copy of that detail-packed, and entertaining, affidavit can be found here. They were able to get into the lockup next door because the concrete wall separating the spaces did not continue to the building's roof. As first reported by the Bloomfield Free Press, a blind spot in the Greene County jail's security camera system kept officials from quickly spotting the illicit excursions, which began two months ago. The six inmates, pictured in the below mug shots, were charged today with felony escape. Investigators learned of the ceiling hijinks after conducting a search of the cellblocks last month. During that shakedown, the November 14 affidavit notes, investigators found letters in the female dormitory indicating that inmates "were getting through the ceiling area, and making contact with each other. This contact appears to include sexual activity." The first female inmate approached by a sheriff's investigator was asked "if she knew why I might want to talk to her," wrote Detective George Dallaire. The woman, who was not charged, "asked if it had anything to do with the girls going through the ceiling."

Bob Levy

For all of you fight fans wondering what happened in last night's big match -- no, not Lesnar vs Couture -- between once de-penised John Wayne Bobbitt and comedian Rev. Bob Levy ... it didn't make the cut. 

Bobbitt sliced himself out of last night's 3-round match at the Marpel Sports Arena in Penn. citing high blood pressure problems, and Levy was forced to beat the crap out of some dude named Thomas Kirschman.

John Wayne showed up and apologized to the crowd, then rescheduled his chance to Bobbitt and weave in the ring with Levy in January.

Bob Levy

For all of you fight fans wondering what happened in last night's big match -- no, not Lesnar vs Couture -- between once de-penised John Wayne Bobbitt and comedian Rev. Bob Levy ... it didn't make the cut. 

Bobbitt sliced himself out of last night's 3-round match at the Marpel Sports Arena in Penn. citing high blood pressure problems, and Levy was forced to beat the crap out of some dude named Thomas Kirschman.

John Wayne showed up and apologized to the crowd, then rescheduled his chance to Bobbitt and weave in the ring with Levy in January.

AL Franken

Al Franken has shown himself to be an angry, easily enraged man and after the October 16 Minnesota Senatorial candidate's debate he allowed his overwrought emotional state to send him over the edge once again. After the debate was over and the Media had turned off their microphones and cameras, Franken rushed over to Senator Norm Coleman's table and proceeded to angrily get in his face over some point or another made during the debate. Franken was getting so angry that his own wife had to rush over and force him to back off from a mounting confrontation with Coleman.

This isn't the only time that Al Franken has allowed his seemingly delicately balanced temperament to be tipped to unseemly anger. In fact, he's allowed himself to be driven to physical violence in the past. In 2004, for instance,Franken tackled a disruptive LaRouchie at a Howard Dean speech. He has also been known to get into shouting matches with rally attendees and opponents alike. Not to mention his past usage of intemperate or profane language and mean-spirited use of ridicule in his comedy routines and during his radio shows when he was an Air-America host.

Artie Lang

Personal life

Lange frequently discussed his on-again/off-again relationship with longtime girlfriend Dana Sironi after they began dating in early spring 2002. Most of the couple's problems stemmed from Lange's lifestyle. In mid-2006 Lange declared that the couple had officially broken up, for which Lange cited his heroin abuse as the primary reason, and claimed to have warned her that she would be "tortured" if they stayed together. However, Lange announced on an early November 2006 Stern Show that he and Sironi were again together to some extent, but that the situation was a mystery even to him. The couple broke up in early 2007, but began dating again in December 2007. On January 29, 2008, Vinnie Favale from The Late Show with David Letterman accidentally emailed Dana the itinerary for the night of Artie's appearance. The email contained the details of the reservations Vinnie made for Artie and three Penthouse Pets at a hotel and the Penthouse club. They have since parted ways.

Lange remains very close to his family, which includes his sister Stacie, a successful corporate fashion designer^[10], and his mother Judy, who retired in March 2007 from a secretarial career.^[11] He considers comedian George Carlin to be the all time greatest and jokingly said "it's easy to follow the funniest guy ever" when he appeared after Carlin as a guest during his first late night talk show appearance on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn.[1] Contrary to popular belief, he had not met comedians Norm MacDonald or David Spade prior to his making films with them (Dirty Work and Lost And Found respectively) though he has remained close friends with both in the years since.

Politically, he has said he does not consider himself to be a "liberal," though he supports abortion, gay rights (despite his notorious penchant for gay jokes) and unions since his time as a longshoreman. He has called President George W. Bush a "dolt" and voted for John Kerry in 2004 and Barack Obama in the 2008 Presidential Election. He initially supported the 2003 invasion of Iraq, but has since changed his mind. When documentarian Michael Moore visited The Howard Stern Show in 2007, Lange told him that he had changed some of his political opinions because of Moore's films.

He has indicated that his favorite band is The Who, he is also a devotee of Bruce Springsteen and AC/DC. His favorite book is A Confederacy of Dunces.

[edit]

Denis Leary

Denis Leary was born and raised in Worcester, Massachusetts, the son of Nora and John Leary, Irish immigrants who had grown up together. After a childhood in the 1960s, Leary went to Emerson College in Boston, where he tried his hand at acting and writing. He was a charter member of Emerson's Comedy Workshop, and taught at the college for five years after graduating. By that point he had written several pieces for magazines and had worked at stand-up comedy for a time. In 1990 he and his wife Ann flew to London to perform in the BBC's Paramount City. That weekend Ann's water broke. Their planned weekend trip became a stay of months, and Denis, with not a whole lot to do in London, wrote a one-man comedy act. He brought friends in from the States, and they wrote songs to perform on stage. Leary, with Chris Phillips and Adam Roth on guitar, performed "No Cure For Cancer" at the Edinburgh International Arts Festival in Scotland. Despite some protests about the title, the show won the Critic's Award and the BBC Festival Recommendation. The next year the show was moved to America, and it was eventually taped and broadcast on Showtime (No Cure for Cancer (1992) (TV)). The show spawned a book, CD, cassette, and a videotape. It also started Leary's movie career. Since then, he has starred in several films and has had two of his own TV series.

Brad Garrett

Deputies investigate battery claim against Garrett

1 day ago

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Authorities are investigating battery allegations against Emmy-winning actor Brad Garrett in an incident involving a photographer in West Hollywood.

Los Angeles County sheriff's Sgt. Kristin Aloma said the 48-year-old Garrett has not been arrested in the incident that occurred late Tuesday or early Wednesday. She did not provide further details.

A video posted on celebrity gossip site TMZ.com shows photographers shooting and taping Garrett for about three minutes as he left a restaurant. As he approached his vehicle, Garrett briefly chased one photographer, then pushed the video camera of another paparazzo.

In the video, the man immediately claims Garrett broke his camera, although it shows him holding it up like he is still filming. The men exchange words and Garrett appears to challenge the paparazzi to a fight, but no punches were thrown.

A message left for Garrett's manager, Glenn Robbins, was not immediately returned.

Garrett stars in the Fox sitcom "'Til Death." He snagged three best supporting actor Emmys for his role in the comedy "Everybody Loves Raymond."

madtv

« 'House' tops Tuesday; 'NCIS' hits season high | Main | The CW orders more 'Privileged' »

NOVEMBER 12, 2008

Fox cancels 'Mad TV'

Fox has canceled one of its longest-running shows -- the late-night sketch comedy veteran "Mad TV."

The Saturday night mainstay's current 14th season will be its last on the network, say Fox sources confirming a report on Defamer.

Yet the show's co-creator David Salzman says he's not giving up on the program and plans to shop "Mad TV" to cable networks and other outlets.

"There’s a long list of parties that have called us, including a few very recently, and we’re going to start conversations with them very shortly," Salzman says.

Fox told Salzman the show had become too expensive considering its time period and ratings. Unlike dramas and comedies that suffer the broadcast ax, however, Salzman believes his show's budget can scaled back to suit a cable network.

"I think we can change it without it really being noticeable," he says. "We’ve learned over the years how to do things on an efficient basis."

Salzman calls his show "the only success in the 21-year history of Fox's late night" and gave credit to the network for giving him enough notice to potentially find another distributor without interrupting production. He adds that Fox ordered a shortened season this year and will wrap production in December.

In one respect, the timing of the cancellation is actually fortuitous -- the show’s licensing deal with Comedy Central, which airs the show's first 11 seasons in repeats, is set to expire at the end of the year. Salzman can offer buyers the exclusive rights to air the show's library of content if they pick up the show, or sell the show and its library separately.

Salzman also praised competitor "Saturday Night Live," calling the show "the greatest of its type of all time." Still, Salzman noted his show -- which embraces a hip-hop sensibility compared with the NBC program's 1970s rock-and-roll roots -- has faced an uphill battle for attention.

"Saturday Night Live" is a heavily promoted and legendary member of the NBC family. On Fox, "Mad TV" has been like a distant cousin of the network's other programming, a holdover from the network's mid-1990s brand that, to its credit, kept managing to draw an audience and survive despite several programming management turnovers.

"'Mad TV' has been one of the longest running series in recent television history," says Kevin Reilly, president of entertainment at Fox, in a statement. "The fact that this Emmy Award-winning show has been a Fox mainstay in late-night for 14 years is a testament to the creativity and dedication put forth each week by the talented cast, writers and crew. This was a very difficult decision and we would like to give our heartfelt thanks to everyone at 'Mad TV' for making us laugh for over 300 irreverent episodes."

"Mad TV" is averaging a 1.1 adult demo rating and 2.6 million viewers this season, down 6% from last year -- a relatively modest drop compared to the ratings hits endured by many shows this fall. Of Fox’s programming, only “The Simpsons,” “Cops” and “America’s Most Wanted” have been on the network longer. Fox's decision does not current impact Fox's other late-night Saturday program, "Talkshow with Spike Feresten."

The final Fox episode -- No. 326 -- is scheduled to air in May.

"We’re proud of what we’ve accomplished, we’re appreciative of what Fox has done and we don’t think it should be over yet," Salzman says.

secret

Secret Service Officer in Sex Sting

Monday, November 10, 2008; B03

A Secret Service sergeant was arrested early Saturday after he allegedly tried to solicit sex from a D.C. police officer working undercover as a prostitute, authorities said.

The sergeant, driving his Secret Service vehicle and in uniform, encountered the undercover officer about 12:50 a.m. near 11th and K streets NW, said Inspector Brian Bray, commander of the District's narcotics and special investigations division.

After bantering about prices and services, Bray said, the woman agreed to perform oral sex for $20 and told the sergeant to meet her around the corner. He was arrested there by D.C. police officers, Bray said.

The sergeant, whose name was withheld by police, was cited for soliciting a prostitute, which carries a maximum 180-day jail sentence, Bray said. He was released.

The Secret Service said the man will be placed on paid administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation and will also face an internal investigation.

-- Matt Zapotosky

comedy store

NCC Timmy hit open mic at comedy store and said that Azis Asari was no good, mike young was no good, ari shifer pulled out his balls, steve rannizi was good, ty barnett was good and Ari pulled out his balls.