Monday, January 12, 2009

Hooters

Some desperate men with a dream to serve hot wings and wear short-shorts are suing the people behind Hooters -- because the man-haven wouldn't hire the dudes as waitresses!

These dumbasses -- led by some d-bag named Nikolai Grushevski -- have filed a class-action suit in Texas alleging they were each "denied a waiter's position because of ... gender." No s**t?!!?!!

Anyway, the guys -- who we'll call "the ruiners of all things good" -- are claiming the Southwest Airlines defense, citing a three-decade-old case where the airline was forced eventually to hire male flight attendants. 

The guys are asking the court for emotional damages -- but we thought you had to have thosebefore getting a job at Hooters!

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big guy

LONDON (AFP) - A man has been told he and his wife cannot adopt children because he is so fat that the authorities fear he will die, he said Monday.

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Damien Hall, who stands six feet, one inch tall, weighs 24 and a half stone. He therefore has a body mass index (BMI) of more than 42 and is thus considered morbidly obese.

The call centre worker, 37, and his nanny wife Charlotte, 31, cannot have children of their own and approached Leeds City Council, about adopting.

But their local authority told them that Damien must get his BMI down below 40 before they can be considered as potential parents due to concerns over his weight.

"The bottom line is I'm too fat," he told BBC radio. "It's hard to lose weight under pressure. I'm not a couch potato and I don't sit eating takeaways every night.

"I just feel as though we were only judged on my weight and not all the other good things about us.

"We don't drink or smoke and we could give a child a happy and safe home."

The letter the couple received from Leeds City Council said they were unable to process their adoption application "due to the concerns that the medical advisers have expressed regarding Mr Hall's weight.

"The Adoption Panel are unlikely to approve applicants with a BMI over 40 because of the long term health risks.

"It would therefore be to your advantage to begin the assessment with an up to date medical where your BMI is clearly recorded as being under 40 and to demonstrate that you are able to maintain this weight loss over the period of the assessment."

Charlotte Hall said the letter was "gutting" and "to be turned down flatly just on that, it's just harsh.

"We're here ready to take a child on.

"They seem to be saying it's better for them to be in care and being shoved from pillar to post just in case Damien dies."

In a statement, Leeds City Council explained: "The council's adoption service has a legal responsibility to ensure that children are placed with adopters who are able to provide the best possible lifelong care.

"Part of this responsibility is advice for applicants on a range of suitability criteria, including any health and lifestyle issues which may impact on an applicant's long term ability to adopt."

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Party

He was arrested Friday and arraigned Saturday.

Buttafuoco's lawyer says it was an accident. He says his client only meant to play the tape for a friend and didn't realize it was being amplified.

Investigators say the 23-year-old West Babylon man made the recording when he attended a rally opposing Israeli military action in Gaza, during which protesters chanted, "Allah Akbar," or "God is great."

Police initially released a statement saying that Buttafuoco had also been charged with disrupting a religious service, but that charge was not introduced at his arraignment.

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Sunday, November 23, 2008

nice fella

Ark. man sentenced for killing slow hairdresser

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – An Arkansas man has been sentenced to prison for fatally shooting a stylist who was taking too long to braid his hair.

Thirty-year-old Kerry Rendall Wilson of Little Rock was sentenced Friday to 24 years for second-degree murder. He will be eligible for parole in six years.

Wilson's lawyer says his client was high on marijuana dipped in formaldehyde when 39-year-old Henrietta Jones was killed in November 2007.

But the lawyer, Bill James, says one of the woman's sons actually killed her.

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Sunday, November 2, 2008

Mccain


OCTOBER SURPRISE: ALIEN ENDORSES MCCAIN!

Posted on Saturday, November 1st, 2008
By Reginald Cunningham III

WASHINGTON, DC - In a shocking reversal, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain.

With major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker the Alien has changed his endorsement amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.

Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.


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Thursday, October 30, 2008

doughnuts

State police say an upstate New York college campus policeman was helping himself to free pastries at a local convenience store.

The Valero Nice N Easy offers free coffee to any police officer in uniform.

Sgt. Steve Brody of the Morrisville State College University Police stopped daily to buy a newspaper and pick up a free cup of coffee. He also routinely stuffed a pastry into his coat.

Brody is now accused of taking about $30 worth of pastries over at least 17 separate occasions.

Brody, 55, of Morrisville, was ticketed for petit larceny. Troopers say they have surveillance videos.

Brody and his defense attorney declined to comment. Brody remains an employee at Morrisville; school officials say the case is a personnel matter and refused further comment.

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